Post # 1
Ugh Bees. I am having a down kind of week. The RSVPs are trickling in now, and there have been so many “No” responses. Most of my FI’s family has declined (They are from Michigan) and a lot of my friends who live locally said no.
I am just feeling down and thought these people were real friends. We have traveled and gone to countless weddings, and now people don’t want to return the favor. I know I should focus on all the people who are coming, but I am just feeling kind of hurt and am maybe being over-sensitive.
Today one of my friends who was planning to come emailed me and changed her RSVP to a no.
Any advice for getting over friends/family deciding not to come to your wedding?
Post # 3
All I have to say is I feel your pain. I’m disappointed in many of my No responses, but the worst of all is my grandpa not attending. It’s too far of a trip for him. Back when we planned it I thought he’d be willing to fly….but he’s not. 🙁
After some time, I’ve found it gets easier. Try to focus on your loved ones who ARE taking the special time and effort to get there and how much fun it will be to share that day with them.
Post # 4
Just because they can’t go doesn’t mean they don’t love you! Think of it that way dear 🙂
PS I know how it is since I’m in the same boat too!
Post # 5
I agree, it does totally suck. My grandmother isn’t coming, but she’s avoiding me by not sending in her RSVP and she’s screaning her calls because she feels bad she can’t come, but flying 3,000 miles at 92 just isn’t an option, and I knew she probably wouldn’t be able to come.
Yes, think about all the people who will be there and who took the time to come celebrate with you.
Post # 7
Same thing I told someone else on the boards…I don’t want the etiquette nazis getting to me BUT, why don’t you invite some folks you didn’t invite the first time around? People you thought you couldn’t afford to invite and now the list is a bit more open. This only works if you are paying for a minimum amount of people (say 100, but only 65 RSVP’ed yes) you can just make up the numbers. It sucks when folks you thought would come for your wedding don’t come. It double sucks when it’s IN town and they don’t make the effort to come. It just solidifies the fact that maybe one’s wedding is not as important to other folks as it is to the person getting married. I’m sorry this happened. For the other bee I gave this advice to, she ended up inviting some other friends (with a nicely worded letter/email) and got more people to attend. Good luck and trust me, on that day, you will be so focused on the folks who are there THAN the folks who are not there 😉
Post # 8
keep in mind that many people probably want to come but can’t afford the expense this year. We had many people who just couldn’t make it because of the economy. This is my worst year financially since I finished my undergrad. Try to not take it personally and realize that many folks are just underwater.
Post # 9
Oh hunny, I totally understand. I burst into tears at least 3 times last week over “no” responses lol. My fiance keeps reminding me that at the end of the day, we’ll still be married and we’ll still have a great time. Hang in there, it’ll all be fine when all is said and done!!
Post # 10
thanks everyone! you have been real positive. i guess i need to put things into perspective and be happy about who is coming
Post # 11
The whole RSVP thing has been upsetting to me too. My FH’s family has been fantastic about getting back to me about whether they can attend or not. Some can’t but they live very far away so it’s understandable. Meanwhile my Dad and Mom’s family & friends they insisted I invite have made no effort to contact me at all. The family members who haven’t gotten in touch with me all live in town too. I’m guessing they’ll end up showing up just for the reception thinking there will be free beer. Yeah, there will be beer, rootbeer! *evil laughter* Which they would know if they had bothered to call me or go to our wedsite! The venue has also changed due to a scheduling snafu on their part that occured AFTER the invites went out. I’d like to see the look on their faces when they arrive at the wrong location.
So far we out of 110 invites only 38 people have RSVP’d for a total of 80 people coming. We’ll have enough food for 100 so I suppose I’m okay with some family just showing up. It’s frustrating though=(
Post # 12
I almost created a thread for myself here but, realized someone else was experiencing the same pain. None of my family is coming aside from my mother,father,sister and grandmother. Not a single aunt,uncle,cousin or my grandparents on my mothers side. None of my friends are coming from Ohio. (Where I’m from). My friends from Ohio org. blew me off for my bachelorette party. So I didn’t have one. 3 of my friends from Ca are coming and the rest of the people coming are Fiance guests and mutual friends. We invited 102 people and had 30 accepts with the the majority of no’s just not responding and some pretty lame excuses. I had someone tell me….she had to work, another friend that lives locally said her grandparents 50th anniversary was at the same day @ the same time, the countless people that said “I’ll see” or I just cant afford it. I offered to put people up @ my house. Quite a few that said “I’ll see” our MIA. I deleted them from my phone the other day when I had a crying spell about the whole situation and my Fiance said whats important are the people that are going to be there. But, I feel like my other “friends” totally snubbed me…do I just write these people out of my life?