(Closed) RSVP question: Never met the bride, or groom

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@SockJunkie:  I’m confused.  You got an invitation, right?  So was your SO not invited?  If you want to go, go.  If you think that meeting your sister at her wedding is too much, ask her to lunch before the wedding.  But if your SO wasn’t invited, then you need to figure out if you want to ask for an invite for him – you can’t just add a +1 without asking – thats rude.  

Post # 5
Member
13251 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

To be honest, I would probably decline the invitation and include a handwritten note like, “Dear Jane, it was so thoughtful of you to invite me to your wedding, but I am afraid I have to decline.  I would not want to detract any attention from you and your husband on such a wonderful day, and meeting for the first time at your wedding may be chaotic.  I would love to meet up with you after, perhaps once your wedding photos are in, and catch up.  (FI) and I wish you all the best!  Love, SockJunkie.”

Post # 6
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Wait, so are you asking if you should put no on your own invitation, and have your dad rsvp +1 with the intention of bringing you as his date?

Post # 7
Member
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I agree with abbie017.  If you think your dad pressured her into inviting you, you’re not doing any favors for her by attending.  I don’t think her wedding day is the best time for her to meet a long lost sibling.  She’ll already be nervous enough.  Make plans to meet her in person afterward.

Post # 8
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@abbie017:  +1.. sound like the best route to me. If she really did want to invite you, it leaves the door open for her to meet you before the wedding so you will feel more comfortable attending.

Post # 10
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@SockJunkie:  I see. Well if you are planning on going, you need to RSVP with your own invitation, not your dad’s. I agree with the PP that said if you feel weird about meeting her for the first time at her wedding, maybe ask her to lunch sometime before so the pressure is off of both of you on the big day. If you choose to decline, you should write a personalized note similar to the one PP posted. But you definitely need to RSVP “yes” with your own invitation if you intend to go.

Post # 12
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Do you guys live near eachother? I would ask her out to lunch. I don’t think a wedding is an appropriate place to meet but you also don’t want to reject her. 

Edit: Oops! I missed your update. It sounds like you and I had the same idea! What a great ending! 

Post # 13
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@SockJunkie:  I’m glad it’s working out!

The topic ‘RSVP question: Never met the bride, or groom’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors