(Closed) RSVP question…Guest list “A” and list “B”

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

What I was planning on doing was just sending out “B list” invites as I received the no’s.  Maybe it will still be within the RSVP’s timeline so the same rsvp could be used.  If not, I was thinking of having a second smaller set of rsvp’s made with a different date on them.  I’m not getting married til July next year so I still have a little time.  Looking forward to hearing what others did though!

Post # 5
Member
1619 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I sent my A-list invites at around 8 weeks before the RSVP date, giving everyone plenty of time.  I just started sending out B-List invites as soon as I got a no response and I had no trouble with the RSVP deadline.  Some people ignored the deadline, but it was fine.  I had a pretty small wedding with all close friends and family so it was no trouble to call or email them.

Post # 6
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

So, we over-invited for the “A-list” (180 for 150 person room). We didn’t get enough No’s until after the RSVP date to send the B-List invitations without it being obvious that they were B-List.

So we called a few people to invite them personally, it was probably still transparent but at least they didn’t have the RSVP date staring them in the face mocking them.

We’re having a pretty informal wedding so the phone invite isn’t as weird as it would be for a more formal deal.

Post # 7
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Lexy – same here! We over-invited by about 35 people but didn’t really start getting No’s in until the week the RSVPs were due (which I must admit had me terrified that I was going to have way too many people for a couple of weeks).  My guess is the people who are on the fence or not able to come wait until the very last minute to send their regrets. 

Even so, I really wanted to invite the B-Listers, so I doctored up new RSVP cards with reply by dates that were only 10 days out.  It may have been obvious that they were B-List but most of them still accepted and came to the wedding, so it all worked out!

Post # 8
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2012

We had the same idea. We made our own invites so it wasnt really a big deal. First RSVP was 4 months ahead, second was 2 1/2 months ahead, and a few friends we werent planning on inviting but suddenly we realised we couldnt not have ended up having a month to reply. Definitly call to check up though, about 50% of our initial guest list IGNORED the rsvp date. *frustrating*

Post # 9
Member
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@mnhenderson07:  thats what we are doing. once no’s come in b list gets one.. its working out okay fo us now…85 yes’s and 18 no’s and half the rsvps r mia..but we r still good on capicity 220 max

Post # 10
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Pecan Springs Events in Brookshire

We sent our first list 3 months in advance, right now we are tracking down those who have not sent an RSVP which is close to 70% of them. We are emailing them to follow up and once that is done, we may another batch of invitations depending on the responses. One had one invitation for some reason that never arrived. So, it’s good idea to follow up with those who said no especially if it’s a high number. If it is 5 or less, you may not need to call.

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