Post # 1
Grrrrr getting rsvp cards back and it seems like everyone is adding people on!! Budget for 4, get a card back for 6. Budget for 2, get a card back for 3…. it’s so frustrating!!! Anyone else going through the same thing?? I feel like I was direct on the invitation. For example, I said Mr. and Mrs. X on the front (they barely made the list so I just wanted the couple to come) and then I receive a reply for them plus their teenager….. another I wrote “the X family” knowing it is the husband and wife and their two kids. They reply back for the two kids plus 2 more foreign exchange students I’ve never met and didn’t even know about! That was probably my fault for writing “family” but it’s still very aggravating….
Am I just getting worked up for no reason? I mean the more the merrier, right???…. someone please talk me down …. lol
Post # 2
I think you’ll find that this is a common occurrence. Reach out and say something like “oh XXX I’m so sorry but I think there was some confusion, FH and I intended for just XX and XX to attend. If you will no longer be able to attend, we will miss you at our wedding!”
Post # 3
Well, the “and family” thing was your error. It’s vague and open for interpretation (and a minefield of you haven’t been in touch for awhile and not aware of who all is in the family now). So for that, definitely the more the merrier and accommodate the two additional children.
The one with the teen – could go either way. Officially, they were rude and you are well within your right to call them and explain that the invite was only for them and you aren’t able to accommodate the extra guest. I’m probably in the wait and see camp myself to see how many declines. I may be in the minority though because I also don’t get worked up about people substituting their friend or sibling or kid or whatever if their significant other can’t make it. My theory is If I budgeted for X people, then if the net effect is still the same, just how much does it personally affect me if you decide you will enjoy the wedding more with your BFF than your SO who maybe hates weddings or has to work or whatever.
Post # 4
I hear about this one all the time. I think the blank may confuse people that they can write in the number that they wish. I’ve heard people say things like ‘it said they reserved 2 seats, but so glad they offered a fill in so I could let them know I was bringing 4!’
I guess the best thing to do is contact them and alert them to the misunderstanding. Sure, they could get upset, but you can’t please everyone. Mistake was theirs, not yours. you extended a invitation, and it was to the number you specified. They have no right to insist on bringing more.
Post # 5
I like the wait and see camp. I don’t want to cause hard feelings or say something I will regret later on.
I’m so grateful for wedding bee! It’s a nice outlet and a good place for honest feedback.
Post # 6
Went though this myself!!! LOL! I was like, what? And like you, two people who responded that they were bringing extras were last minute add ons!! They each responded they were bringing someone. My fiance was like, hey let it rest let’s see how things go with others. He was right, our venue can only fit 48 comfortably and right now we are at 44, maybe 46 if two people still show up (doubt they will!) and I am like…..fine.
You may have to make some calls and explain that the invite was for only certain people. I went through this with a cousin: She STILL wanted to bring her ADULT son and DIL after I told her earlier that I could only accomodate her and her alone. She STILL msg’d me and said can they come to just the wedding. NO! No, you can’t…….ugh. Best wishes to you!
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2017 - Sauk Valley Resort
I’ve had to make so many awkward phone calls because of this. Like no, you can’t bring your 15 year old daughter’s boyfriend of 2 weeks and her best friend. Even my grandparents added on my grandpa’s cousin, who I’ve only met a couple times. We only invited 125 people, it’s not like this is a 300 person event paid for by our parents, where no one will really notice a couple extras. I had a lot of people I wanted to invite but couldn’t, and now people are adding on so many randoms!
Post # 8
Your friends just sound plain rude!
Post # 9
The thing that makes this whole issue so funny and sad at the same time: The people they want to bring!! Grandpa’s cousin? Your 14 year old daughter’s boyfriend of two weeks? We had a guest add a “date” – no idea who the hell she is!! We saw him in June – no girlfriend – but hey bring her!!! It is just so random!! Plus the people you never expect to practive bad manners are the ones who do it!!!
kc1014: You are very nice about it but it does not matter (to me, at least) that parents are paying or not – it is about manners.
And I totally agree that is frustrating as there are people I left off due to space yet now I have these random people!!! AARGH!
Post # 10
in my opinion, “family” does not mean exchange students…I think you could still speak to womever you’re closest with in that family and explain your “mistake”