Post # 1
I have 16 out of 38 RSVPs back. Deadline was yesterday. I have to have our guest count and food finalized with the venue by the 9th. I have myself a week because I knew this would happen. I know I have to call people, but I really just want to take ignoring it as no. Several of the no replies live out of state- so they KNOW if they’re coming or not as they would have had to buy the plane tickets by now so they presumably know if they bought plane tickets or not. I also know I have to be nice about it. We did online RSVPs so I can’t pretend that their reply got lost in the mail- and the website tells me that they saw it. (We have one no-tech couple who we put a reply card in their invitation and they haven’t sent it back.) I will take any type of reply- write me through the mail, reply on the website, call, text, tell me in person, telegram, post it to my wall, whatever. Oh, and none of the people with special dietary needs RSVP’d so I can’t just finalize the meal and tag them on later.
In some ways I understand that this is an early deadline for local guests- wedding is the third week of September, but I can’t change what the deadline for me to get to the venue is either. It has to be normal to have to RSVP ahead of time.
Why is it so difficult for people to click “yes” or “no”? I don’t know how to make it easier.
Post # 2
Ugh.. that is so shitty. I don’t understand why people don’t just RSVP as soon as they know? I have never waited until the deadline or anywhere near the deadline to RSVP. I either do it right away or I do it once I’ve confirmed I can get the time off, etc.
Post # 3
I had alot of people not actually RSVP using the website unfortunately. All saw the e-mails, about 50% didn’t reply. So, I just sent them a quick text saying “Hey, we are just finalizing numbers for the wedding and was wondering if you and your spouse/kids would be able to make it. We would love to have you!”
Once I sent a text, I usually had an answer within 30 minutes. Shouldn’t be too big a deal, your guest list isn’t huge
Post # 4
6 weeks before the wedding feels like a really early RSVP to me, maybe they just didn’t realize when the deadline was?
Post # 5
So annoying, we have a handful of people from out of state who haven’t bothered to RSVP, we know it’s unlikely that they’ll come but why can’t you just RSVP or just tell us? It’s not that hard!
I would just sent them all a quick text, ask them to RSVP and let them know that if you don’t hear back you’ll take it as a NO but I would bet everyone will respond and let you know.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2019 - City, State
That grinds my gears soooo badly. Even for a BBQ you need to hound people these days. Try your best to keep your cool, Bee. Sending lvoe.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2019 - City, State
futuremrs2020 : Agreed. And then if they don’t reply, you won’t feel guilty!
Post # 8
sboom : Agreed! I always either send it in as soon as I get it, or wait to see if I’ll be able to make it and send it in as soon as I get approval from work. Like, what are you waiting for?
Only one person from his family has sent their RSVP in. None from mine did.
manylovesbee : This is possible. Maybe they just stuck the invite on a shelf and have the RSVP sitting in an inbox. I wish the deadline wouldn’t be so early, but I don’t know how to help that. The more “traditional”/mainstream venues are demanding numbers even before that in my area. This at least explains local guests. I have flown to both areas before and generally you should be buying plane tickets two months out.
Post # 9
You just push back. Or you clarify. In my experience planning events, when they tell you such an early date they mean at least soft numbers and you can change it up until the drop dead final numbers deadline which should really only be 3-7 days in advance. They just want guidelines – they need to know do they have to staff for 300 guests or 30 guests? It isn’t like they are ordering your steak and salmon and storing it 6 weeks in advance. Their food orders arent going in until the week of and until they do, there is usually plenty of wiggle room. So usually right off the bat I just say “when do you need soft numbers and when is the absolute last date for changes to get you hard numbers because I have many who won’t know for sure until closer to the date.”
Post # 10
I have no advice I just want to say I’m cringing and groaning in anxiety about my 200 guests. Holy heck this better not happen to me 🙁
Post # 11
I totally get where u are coming from my wedding is mid September as well and I gave a late August RSVP date with online RSVP. 3 weeks to go and still waiting on over half of the numbers so frustrating.
But I would double check with your venue on number dates as we need to give rough numbers a month out and then final numbers and payment 2 weeks before.
Post # 12
This is a struggle for many brides, including me. You just have to be proactive and run them down unfortunately.
Post # 13
I had an early deadline as well because 85% of the guests were from out of state and had to fly. I just sent FB messages to the people who didn’t reply asking them if they were coming. It felt sort of tacky doing it that way but 1) I didn’t want to call people and put them on the spot if they weren’t coming and felt bad about it and 2) I like how FB shows you that they’ve seen the message so I could tell for sure that they had seen it.
Post # 14
Oh no! This stinks! I’m sorry you’re having to stress about it. Granted most of them are being shity, but try not to be too hard on everyone! My Fiance and I were once counted as no’s to his cousin’s wedding because we had recently moved and never received the invite!
Post # 15
I don’t get why people find RSVP’ing so hard! You either know or you don’t. I had to xhaec down 6 family members. Some of them had booked rooms but just didn’t think to rsvp!
I have a couple of days then emailed/text staying “hi, just wanted to check you’ve received the invite to our wedding as we haven’t heard from you and our deadline was X. I hope we can see you there but understand if you can’t make it!” If you want to add more urgency, then you can add in “I need to give numbers to the caterers by Y, so if you can let me know by then or I’ll mark you as a no and we can catch up when we’re back from honeymoon”