RSVP Rant

posted 1 year ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
3389 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

Ugh.. that is so shitty. I don’t understand why people don’t just RSVP as soon as  they know? I have never waited until the deadline or anywhere near the deadline to RSVP. I either do it right away or I do it once I’ve confirmed I can get the time off, etc.

Post # 3
Member
699 posts
Busy bee

I had alot of people not actually RSVP using the website unfortunately. All saw the e-mails, about 50% didn’t reply. So, I just sent them a quick text saying “Hey, we are just finalizing numbers for the wedding and was wondering if you and your spouse/kids would be able to make it. We would love to have you!”

Once I sent a text, I usually had an answer within 30 minutes. Shouldn’t be too big a deal, your guest list isn’t huge

Post # 4
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2018

6 weeks before the wedding feels like a really early RSVP to me, maybe they just didn’t realize when the deadline was?

Post # 5
Member
2917 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

So annoying, we have a handful of people from out of state who haven’t bothered to RSVP, we know it’s unlikely that they’ll come but why can’t you just RSVP or just tell us? It’s not that hard! 

I would just sent them all a quick text, ask them to RSVP and let them know that if you don’t hear back you’ll take it as a NO but I would bet everyone will respond and let you know.

Post # 6
Member
910 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

That grinds my gears soooo badly. Even for a BBQ you need to hound people these days. Try your best to keep your cool, Bee. Sending lvoe. 

Post # 7
Member
910 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

futuremrs2020 :  Agreed. And then if they don’t reply, you won’t feel guilty! 

Post # 9
Member
4496 posts
Honey bee

You just push back.  Or you clarify.  In my experience planning events, when they tell you such an early date they mean at least soft numbers and you can change it up until the drop dead final numbers deadline which should really only be 3-7 days in advance.  They just want guidelines – they need to know do they have to staff for 300 guests or 30 guests?  It isn’t like they are ordering your steak and salmon and storing it 6 weeks in advance.  Their food orders arent going in until the week of and until they do, there is usually plenty of wiggle room.  So usually right off the bat I just say “when do you need soft numbers and when is the absolute last date for changes to get you hard numbers because I have many who won’t know for sure until closer to the date.”

Post # 10
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I have no advice I just want to say I’m cringing and groaning in anxiety about my 200 guests. Holy heck this better not happen to me 🙁

Post # 11
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I totally get where u are coming from my wedding is mid September as well and I gave a late August RSVP date with online RSVP. 3 weeks to go and still waiting on over half of the numbers so frustrating.

But I would double check with your venue on number dates as we need to give rough numbers a month out and then final numbers and payment 2 weeks before.

Post # 12
Member
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

This is a struggle for many brides, including me. You just have to be proactive and run them down unfortunately.

Post # 13
Member
709 posts
Busy bee

I had an early deadline as well because 85% of the guests were from out of state and had to fly. I just sent FB messages to the people who didn’t reply asking them if they were coming. It felt sort of tacky doing it that way but 1) I didn’t want to call people and put them on the spot if they weren’t coming and felt bad about it and 2) I like how FB shows you that they’ve seen the message so I could tell for sure that they had seen it. 

Post # 14
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Oh no! This stinks! I’m sorry you’re having to stress about it. Granted most of them are being shity, but try not to be too hard on everyone! My Fiance and I were once counted as no’s to his cousin’s wedding because we had recently moved and never received the invite! 

Post # 15
Member
737 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I don’t get why people find RSVP’ing so hard! You either know or you don’t. I had to xhaec down 6 family members. Some of them had booked rooms but just didn’t think to rsvp! 

I have a couple of days then emailed/text staying “hi, just wanted to check you’ve received the invite to our wedding as we haven’t heard from you and our deadline was X. I hope we can see you there but understand if you can’t make it!” If you want to add more urgency, then you can add in “I need to give numbers to the caterers by Y, so if you can let me know by then or I’ll mark you as a no and we can catch up when we’re back from honeymoon”

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