(Closed) RSVP rant

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
12249 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013


I hate that “but if I pay I can bring a guest, right?” question.

Post # 4
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

She must have other endearing qualities… With that, no, nope, sorry, you cannot bring a gues sweetie.  At the rate she’s going there’ll be another guy by the wedding.  You don’t need this unnecessary irritation.

Post # 5
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

We’re having the same issue!  Our venue can only fit 100.  We have 105 on the invite list now.  We gave +1s to everyone in a relationship, regardless of how serious, and the bridal party.  I have friends who want to bring their parents or new boyfriends.  Argh!  I’ve just been saying that we don’t have space but once we start getting back RSVPs, I’ll let them know if we have room for their +1. 

Post # 7
8584 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

tell her no, but if there ends up being extra space the day or 2 before from people dropping out, he can come.


Post # 8
6121 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

Oh lordy, I feel your pain!!

One of my FI’s cousins messaged him on Facebook the other day asking if she could come to the wedding. Back story: I’ve never met her, he hasn’t seen her is so many years that he can’t remember the last time, she was (maybe still is?) into some “things”, and she has 2 kids and a Fiance so that would be an extra 4 ppl, not one! I can’t believe she actually had the balls to ask, and through Facebook none the less. Oh! And she also mesaged FI’s brother to ask him if he could ask Fiance for her. Ughhh.

Then I get the RSVP back from my step-sister and her husband with a big fat “6” for the number attending. Ummm, it’s only supposed to be 4 (her, husband, 2 kids). Well the husband added in his parents. Granted, I get along great with my step-sister and her husband and his parents, but I just didn’t feel the need to invite my step-grandparents-in-law haha. But they’re Russian and in their culture, everyone in the family comes to events.

So for the cousin who invited herself, we told her if any space opened up we would let her know. (I wanted to tell her “no” simply because she was rude)

For my step-sister, we’re allowing it because it would cause waaay more porblems to tell them his parents aren’t invited and they’ve always been super nice to my Fiance and me.


Sorry that was so long, that’s the first time I’ve really been able to vent about it. Haha. I think you should just tell her it’s not in the budget but you will reevaluate the situation when you start receiving replies…even if that’s not really the case lol.

Post # 9
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

You should tell her fine she can switch to this guest, but that is the last change she can make. If, for some reason, he can’t come or she’s dating someone new–tough luck she can come solo.

So annoying how people think someone’s wedding can be their playground.

Post # 10
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’d just tell her that you will be at capacity if everyone else responds yes, so for right now you have to say no. Let her down easy by saying you’ll offer her the spot for this guy if you end up having room. 

Then you can just tell her no sorry still don’t have room, or else she’ll solve the problem for you when they inevitably break up! 

Post # 11
49 posts
  • Wedding: April 2015

I would tell her NO and that you’ve reserved one space for her only and it wouldnt be fair to others who may have wanted to invite another guests.  The biggest lesson I’ve learned is you WILL make someone upset regarding the guest list no matter what.


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