(Closed) RSVP Rant

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
2221 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

This is why I listed every single person’s name on my RSVP cards with a checkbox beside their name. I was printing them myself anyways so it wasn’t that hard to customize them.

& Family is a little vague. Maybe they think of the daughter’s boyfriend as family? 

Post # 4
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Museum

I’m scared of that, too! Especially because I’m not doing RSVP cards like 

View original reply
amberback:  (We’re having an online RSVP system)

Post # 6
Member
531 posts
Busy bee

Just to introduce an alternate perspective…and Family is very open ended and 400 people is a huge crowd.  This communicates “the more the merrier” and, honestly, I may have written in my teenager daughter’s boyfriend as well thinking that you have opened the door to whomever wants to join you.  400 people is very, very, very far from a hand picked and precisely selected group.

Post # 7
Member
8480 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree that “and family” is vague and opens the door to additional people.

Post # 8
Member
30399 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

“And family” is very informal, but in no way does it open up the invitation to dates, boyfriends, neighbours etc.

View original reply
pinkdaisy12:  If you don’t want to extend the invitation to the boyfriend, phone them  and tell them ” There must have been a misunderstanding. The invitation was for the three of you. The boyfriend was not invited. If that means you won’t be able to attend the wedding, we will miss you.

Post # 9
Member
2221 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

If you have the room, I think you’re going to have to accomodate these ‘extras’. There will likely only be a handful and probably way less than there are people who reply “no”.

Or call and tell them they can’t bring him. 

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 8 months ago by amberback.
Post # 10
Member
3423 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
pinkdaisy12:  LOLz 400+ people invited and you’re worried about 1 bf?  You’re not even going to know he’s there.  Hell, you won’t even remember 300 of thoes people being there.  Plue, I think it’s quite rude you don’t want to include someone’s bf anyway.

Post # 11
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

 

View original reply
Atalanta:  Just because there are 400+ people invited does not mean it suddenly becomes an open event. I was in a similar situation (had an attendance of 300), which was mainly due to large families and my dad’s thinking of “the more the merrier”. The add-ons KILLED me personally because we were trying to keep the guest list as tight as possible with it being so large. PLUS, not inviting a boyfriend of only 1-2 months would not be categorized as rude.

Post # 14
Member
3423 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
pinkdaisy12: 

So you think every bf who has been dating people for just a month or two should be included in the wedding?

for teens yes. I think they’ll have way more fun if they have an SO at a wedding and don’t you want your guests to have fun?  For adults, everyone gets a plus 1 regardless of their relationship status.

Post # 15
Member
30399 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
Atalanta:  Can you cite your source for your etiquette advice?

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