(Closed) RSVP RANT — Anyone else??

posted 5 years ago in Guests
Post # 16
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I work a job with CRAZY hours, and I’m only able to organize my schedule two weeks in advance for everything. So yes… some of us have no option but to reply with “maybe”. It’s not rude, it just means I’m not willing to lose my job over your wedding. Bottom line is that if you can’t accommodate the maybes, uninvite them, but be grateful that YOU don’t have to go through what we go through with our jobs, and be grateful for your stability instead of being annoyed about a maybe RSVP. You know??

Post # 17
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I’ve had a friend ask if she can bring a plus 1, who is someone we work with but who I haven’t invited. My friend is a good friend and has been very helpful with helping me pick a dress, etc (I’m not having bridesmaids/MOH),  so I feel bad saying no, but if I let her bring this friend, that friend also has a boyfriend at the same place we work, so I couldn’t invite only her and not him, and then if I invite the both of them, how can I invite them but not other people who are the same acquaintance level as them – people I work with but don’t see socially… (from work I have been very strict about only inviting the people I actually spend time with outside of work. Also although I am in my job long-term, our line of work has people who are only here for short contracts – 6 months to a year – so it is unlikely I will even ever see these people again after the wedding because they will be going back home). 

Post # 18
41 posts
  • Wedding: January 2017

View original reply
countingdownthetime :  I totally understand what you mean. I don’t think I or any of the other brideds posting that here are specifically talking about that. I’m actually being pretty specific because I also work more than full time, and have a CRAZY schedule, so contacting over 90 people who have responded maybe who are family and friends who I know have schedules with Days off in a row, who are just to lazy to figure it out are really the people who we were “venting” about. In all honesty it’s okay we love yall. We wouldn’t invite yall if we didn’t want yall there, we do want to accomodate everyone. Especially my awesome friends that have crazy schedules those are actually not the people who drive me crazy those ones are usually the best, pretty confident that when they give me an answer that they will probably follow through or at least try. It’s when someone you know ALWAYS has a hard time saying anything who you tell your planner and vendors are a yes just to be sure, calls on your phone the day of a shower to let you know that oh yeah, they aren’t up to it because they are tired, but hey there’s always the wedding which they still haven’t said yes or no to. I just don’t want calls and text rsvps in Vegas or on my way to the airport. However, my closest friends if they called me day of and changed I wouldn’t care at all. I guess it’s really about my relationships and closeness. If i’m trying really hard to make sure that someone is included it’s my hope that they would try to be considerate of the fact that I have to give numbers to my venue. I don’t need an exact count but some brides do. I past my final deadline for numbers about 1/2 month ago but I’m pretty good at guessing. I was just freaking cause I really did have to contact about 90 people for a Destination Wedding. It’s all good, and I broke it down into making sure that my Fiance and Mom helped me by telling me people they knew for sure answers for. At the end of the day we all need to decompress, but remember if you were important enough to get the invite we legit wanted you there, but we will be okay if you can’t and that ultimately after all is said and done as long as you aren’t mean then we are still going to love you! Sorry that was long.

Post # 19
3080 posts
Sugar bee

RSVPs for my 1st daughter’s wedding went phenomenally well; all but 1 couple responded, via their wedding website’s RSVP page, 10 days before the due date.

Iwas thrilled when my 2nd daughter/fiance chose a much smaller venue, for their wedding the following year, because I had a feeling our luck wouldn’t hold out. The groom’s family live across the state; you’d think they lived on another planet, when it came to responses. There are some guests they never heard from – over 2 years later; there are uncles and first cousins that didn’t even send a congratulatory e-mail, etc. Two aunts and an uncle cancelled a week before; I guess their initial response was just a maybe?, leaving us with an extra $$centerpiece/chair covers/candy bar, when everything was re-arranged.

One of the groom’s mothers guests wanted to bring her granddaughter, if her husband ended up having to work. Even though the MOG knew kids weren’t invited, beyond the bridal party, she conveniently forgot to tell the guest. I had to be the tough guy. And no, we didn’t want to pay $186 a plate, including open bar, just for a 9 year old to show up, in her grandfathers place.

The bride’s cousin, who only invited adults to her wedding, a few years before, thought it perfectly alright to bring her toddler, since her husband managed to have a scheduling conflict, despite getting a save the date 10 months before. She referred to her son as “the little monster,” in her e-mail to the bride, for a formal/evening wedding. We had to say no again and her response was more than huffy.


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