Post # 1
I Just need to vent here!!
A couple weeks ago, we HANDED out our invitations to friends and specifically reminded them it will be an adult-only reception. We wrote down the couple’s names on the envelope and inserted an RSVP card indicated that two seats will be reserved for you.
And here’s the RSVP that we got:
We like to confirm you that there will be 4 people from my side coming to attend your wedding. it will be myself, hubby, baby daughter and my sister.
and for crying out loud, We don’t even know her sister! (We NEVER met this sister before)
I am feeling very irritated now! and need some suggestions (proper wording) on how to respond to it.
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
You need to call her and explain that you can only accommodate the guests invited, end of story.
Post # 4
You call her up, explain that there has been a misunderstanding and say that you can only accommodate your guest and her husband but you appreciate her sister wanting to celebrate with you.
Post # 5
Only those to whom the invitation is addressed are invited. Write or call them, and say, “I am terribly sorry for the misunderstanding, but we only have room for the two of you. I hope you understand.”
Post # 6
Yeah, the sister is pretty inexcusable. And I think the baby only gets a pass if she’s still nursing or really little. I’d give them a call and say that you’re sorry for the confusion but the invitation was only for the couple. Blame the venue or costs or that you’re trying to keep it intimate. You did it all right and it’s still coming back to kick you – sucky sucky!
Post # 7
Is her sister underaged? If so, I would probably let them know that unfortunately, this is an adult reception (bonus points if it’s actually listed somewhere, like your website). If you are feeling particularly helpful, you can extend an offer to help look for or get suggestions for a sitter.
If her sister is an adult, then I would reiterate that 1) it is an adult reception and 2) unfortunately, due to budget and/or space constraints, you have only reserved two seats for her and her DH and if anything changes, you will let her know (and since you don’t know said sister, nothing will change).
By the way, if said sister is an adult and if said baby is very young, you *may* run into a problem that she will respond with “Great! Then my sister and I will come and DH will stay home with the baby.” Will you be okay with this?
Post # 8
“We were so excited to receive your rsvp and hear that you and ____ are able to attend the wedding. Unfortunately we are not able to extend the invitation to include any more guests. If that means you are unable to attend, we understand and will miss you. Please let us know your decision.”
Don’t make any excuses about why you can’t add guests, budget, room size etc. Some people will always try to come up with a solution to that excuse instead of realizing they are in the wrong in the first place.
Post # 9
LoL, I swear people just don’t get it. This will FOREVER be an issue with weddings and until I started planning mines never realized it. Take the advice given by PP’s. Good luck!!!
Post # 10
Do not make excuses for WHY other people can’t come…it’s YOUR WEDDING…you get to choose who will be invited, not your guests….
Post # 11
Great advice above… and that is certainly HOW I would present it to the Couple
“Sorry for the misunderstanding, but the Invite was for you and your Hubby because we are having an Adult Only Event. Sadly, as much as we’d like to accommodate more people, we just cannot”
That’s it, that’s all… do not elaborate (or the really worst folks for this etiquette faux pas, will try to squeeze their toes in the door with some sort of guilt-bargaining…)
As they say… it is ALL ABOUT the Invite Envelope, and WHO is listed there. Period.
I cannot believe how many people don’t seem to know that … or that when you write “2 Seats have been Reserved for You” it couldn’t be any clearer !!
Sorry, mini-RANT of mine. Although impolite for a Host to actually say that… I would certainly be tempted.
BUT here is a thought,
Perhaps the couple haven’t been invited to a Wedding before. Maybe they read and understood… about the reception part, and are just bringing baby daughter and their Sister to the Wedding Ceremony… having made plans to have their daughter babysat during the Reception by said Sister.
Not knowing how to fill out the RSVP card, they just wrote in what they did
Maybe, maybe, maybe ???
Or not… either way ya gotta call em up and explain… Adult Reception, Invite was for 2 addressed to the Couple… and that is who the 2 seats are being Reserved for, period.
EDIT TO ADD – Great quote by julies1949 use that one… and just keep repeating if need be until they fully understand.
Post # 12
I really can’t believe the nerve of some people. Adding the baby is one thing, but then to add her sister that you have never met??? Thats crazy!
Post # 13
@julies1949: +1 Exactly this. You don’t owe them an explanation as to the ins and outs of your guest list. Just state simply that just the 2 of them were invited.
Post # 14
I agree with the PPs. This is inexcusably rude of your friend. I would call her and make it clear that it is an adults only reception and that you cannot accommodate any extra guests. I really like the way @julies1949 worded it above.
Just make sure not to use money as an excuse. I have heard about people offering to pay for the extra person, which is not the point at all. Good luck to you!
Post # 16
Thank you all for your great advice.
I will try to explain that to her.