Post # 1
A girl I know through mutual friends (and follow on FB, Twitter, and Instagram) has been posting reminders to everyone to RSVP to her wedding in June. I personally am not invited to this wedding, and while I am not at all offended by this fact and didn’t expect to get an invite, I still find it a little strange to keep seeing these reminders that are definitely directed only to the people invited, even though everyone can see them. I should add that she’s not a difficult person, and is always very kind and curteous, so she definitely wouldn’t have bad intentions with it.
I guess my question is, did any Bees do something similar to this to remind people about the RSVP date?
My plan has been to wait for about a week after the RSVP deadline before personally contacting people, either through FB, email, or phone- which at this point, it’s looking like I’ll be contacting quite a few. But I’m not entirely convinced that social media announcements are the way to go, even though it might be faster. Anyone have any opinions on either side? Is this an etiquette faux pas, or totally fine?
Post # 2
I don’t see anything wrong with a private message on fb (lots of ppl use it like email) but putting reminders as your status is totally rude. Unless of course absolutely everyone on your friends list is invited.
Post # 3
I think it’s rude even to those invited. I find it especially obnoxious when people do this and their RSVP date hadn’t even passed yet!
Post # 5
Very tacky. Personally I’ve been trying to keep anything related to wedding event dates under wraps because so many people on my facebook aren’t invited. I was even hesitant to post a “Thanks for my bridal shower” status until some of the ladies invited posted thank yous on my wall and photos anyway so it obviously happened. Private messages are one thing, but not megaphone announcements on your status.
Post # 6
I think the people should be directly and privately contacted. Plus, if someone can’t read and follow the date clearly printed on the response card, what makes her think a status update is going to spring them into action? lol
Post # 7
She’s writing it on people’s facebook walls right? I bet she doesn’t realize this shows up in people’s news feeds, maybe she thinks it’s semi-private?? If it’s her status update that’s even worse. I agree that anything other than a private message is rude.
Post # 8
Contacting ppl individually and privately through social media if that’s the method of communication they use the most or a lot is fine imo. To get rsvps after the deadline, we contacted ppl individually by call, in-person, text, email, or fb pm and received responses from nearly everyone. But at no point should anybody post some public RSVP reminder imo (so no wall posts, no statuses, no tweets). The bride and groom are asking for individualized responses to an individual invitation so any follow up should be private and to the individual, not some mass text or post.
Post # 9
When we started planning I made a private FB group for wedding guests with general info in. I may have posted the odd reminder 😀 but politely and not where people who were not invited could see.
Post # 10
If it was a private message sent to those invited I don’t really see an issue. However; with that being said if it’s in a status I believe that some people would be offended especially if they weren’t invited. Best way to remind someone to RSVP once deadline has passed, is to talk to them privately wether it’s through social media or what have you.
Post # 11
It’s tacky IMO, but I got one better. My brother’s friend’s wife (then fiancee obv) wouldn’t just post RSVP reminders in her FB status, she would whine and bitch on her status about how “So many people didn’t RSVP yet, and don’t they understand that it costs them $xxx a head for the wedding??? How rude are the people for not RSVPing!” I say you can’t fight rudeness with rudeness. :/
Post # 12
There is a way on facebook to do a priave list where it only posts to a select group of people. If you are using this and not posting to facebook in general, I am somewhat okay with that. It’s a reminder without announcing to all those who aren’t invited. But a public announcement with no control over those not invited seeing is a bit much.
Post # 13
My wedding is in June and we have a good number of people who haven’t RSVP’d yet (tomorrow is our deadline). In my most desperate moments, I do secretly fantasize about putting it on Facebook as a giant social media PSA as in “I’m publicly begging you people to respond to me!”. But of course, I’d never in a million years do that, and would be super put off by someone who did do it. I do find that these days it seems people have a severe lack of knowledge about etiquette around weddings, and if you say she’s normally a thoughtful person, maybe she’s just blissfully unaware of what a faux pas that is?
Since our deadline is tomorrow, I’m waiting until next Wednesday/Thursday to follow up with people – and when I do, it will be with a phone call directly to the person.
Post # 14
Private messages are OK, but general posts are not.
Also, it’s not ok to start bugging people for their RSVP cards until after the deadline has passed. That drives me crazy. I know quite a few brides who were already bugging people publicly on Facebook two or three weeks before the deadline on the card. Two faux pas! If you wanted answers sooner, you should have chosen an earlier date!