(Closed) RSVP return address labels if bride is a physician (M.D.)?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Return Address - Brides are you using your titles or just first and last name?

    Wedding Bee

    Ms. Wedding Bee

    Doctor Wedding Bee

    Wedding Bee, M.D.

  • Post # 16
    Member
    1001 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think the bigger question is…will your partner’s title be on the return address?  Will your partner be a “Mr?”  If so, then rock that “Dr!”  If not, then I feel it’s appropriate to leave it off.  But if you’re going to be including a title for your partner, include a title for yourself – and since you’ve earned those letters, those letters are now your social title as well as your professional title!

    Post # 17
    Member
    3256 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    If you’re saying Mr. Bill Shatner, say Dr. Billi Shatner.  If you’re saying Bill Shatner, say Billi Shatner.  Don’t append letters; that’s a designation, not a manner of social address.  It should be used when relevant, i.e. any situatin where it is important to indicate that you are a medical doctor, like if you were telling someone “if it burns when you do that, you need to see your physician, like now.”  Otherwise, it would be like if I put Duncan McNanners, MSc(Kin) on mine.  And… that’d be douchey.

    Post # 18
    Member
    24 posts
    Newbee

    I would say no title. I will also have the Dr title by the time we send out invitations and marry but will not be including it, I become a Mrs that day not a Dr. I would just use your name on correspondance. x

     

    Post # 19
    Member
    3208 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I have a lot of MDs in my family. None of them use their Dr. title in social settings, but they do use Dr. as a title on invitations, airplane tickets, wherever a formal title is required, etc.

    An MD is different than a PhD. PhDs do not refer to themselves as doctors. My brother-in-law finished his PhD before starting med school, and I used to joke about him telling other med students he was already a doctor, and he said, “I have a doctorate, but I’m not a doctor.” I’ve also volunteered at a lot of his conferences, and all the MDs or MD/PhDs uses the title of Dr on their name tags, and the PhDs just have Mr (or Ms).

    Post # 20
    Member
    13942 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I don’t think it’s necessary to point out the fact that you’re a doctor to all your guests.  They’re your closest friends and family, so I’m sure they know.  Ms. is a fine way to do it. I absolutely would not to Wedding Bee, MD – it looks showy to me, for a wedding invitation.

    Post # 21
    Member
    1047 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I’m a doctor as is my Fiance and quite a few of my friends. The way I see it is, my friends don’t call me doctor in day to day life so I won’t be referring to myself as such on the invitations. Besides I don’t want to be so formal. I’ll be referring to myself by my name, no prefixes required. 

     

    I dont love the idea of putting Firstname Lastname MD either, it just doesn’t seem like an appropriate place to go listing your qualifications. Plus for me, as I’m not trained in the US and I don’t have an MD, instead as an equivalent I’ve got quite a few letters back there. And there’s no way I’m writing Aliciaspinnet MB BCh BAO BA MRCPUK on my invites!

    Post # 22
    Member
    13718 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I realize that my answer was incomplete since I responded  only for the return address, not for the address on the RSVP itself.  Sorry!  In that case, you can go by Doctor, Dr. or Ms., or however you prefer people to address you in  social correspondence. A  title is generally  used unless you are going very informal, which you are not.  

    It is no more presumptuous than a male doctor  who receives correspondence addressed to Dr. John Smith. As far as return addresses, it is true that you need only the address , and in fact, that is preferred on the wedding invitation itself.   

    Post # 23
    Member
    178 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    View original reply
    bonbonsparklesMD:  Socially, I don’t see a point in stating that you’re a doctor in regards to your wedding. Everyone most likely already knows that you’re a doctor, I don’t think they will really notice either way that you decide to do it.

    Post # 24
    Member
    1621 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    View original reply
    cbgg:  I would have made the same suggestion for a man, I’m not a sexist.  I’d go with “Ms” and “Mr” or (preferably), no title at all, just FirstName LastName.  It’s a matter of personal preference and I don’t see the point of using the “Dr” title at such a time. 

    It would be like writing, “Jane Doe (astrophysicist) and John Smith (teacher) invite you to their wedding…”.  I just see no benefit.  The people you’re inviting know that you’re a doctor, I’m not sure they need reminded; and further you’re not acting in a professional way at this kind of event, as you would be at a conference (in which case you would very well use your title on your name card, etc).

    Emily Post can say that the doctor title is social as well as professional.  I disagree.  I hate that my bank put the title on my cards without my permission so I got them re-issued, so I guess I’m biased.  My title gets used in my office and the professional realm, not in my personal life.  As I said, *I* find that pretensious.  Yes, it’s hard earned.  Yes, it’s a sign of respect.  Many things in life are hard earned and deserve respect and people don’t go around announcing it publically without need.  Others can obviously do as they feel best/comfortable and kudos to them.

    Post # 25
    Member
    13718 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    View original reply
    kapalua67:  I agree as far as on an  invitation itself, but that is different than a form of address on an envelope, where OP would be addressed as either Ms. or Dr.

    I agree that a woman  doesn’t need to flaunt her professional degrees, but  that is not at all the same thing as a title.  For example, any letter written to a woman doctor is properly addressed to Dr. Wedding Bee and Mr. John Smith, The Doctors Smith, or Dr. Wedding Bee and Dr. John Smith.

    Wedding Bee, M.D. relates to business and is improper for any social format.

     

    In any case, OP can go with either Ms. or Dr., as she prefers and many women do prefer to  go by Ms. or Mrs. socially, or by whatever people call them.   I will say I can’t think of too many men who  think a letter should be addressed TO them as  Mr. instead of Dr. 

    For an informal affair or note, Wedding Bee alone is fine, of course, but OP said she wanted to follow a more formal style. 

    Post # 26
    Member
    579 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    View original reply
    Strawberryfarmer:  I would have the same answer. I know it is something to be super proud of be it a MD or Phd but I just wouldn’t add it personally. Don’t think it makes much difference either way though to be honest because everyone would already know as they know her. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    2843 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I am not a big dan of using professional title socially.  MD might be the only exception, but I would just use Ms. or no title on the reponse cards.  It drives me nuts when PhDs use Dr. socially.  Blech.

    Post # 28
    Member
    4697 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    While I’d like to rock a Dr. title whenever possible, socially.. I’d leave it out. For simplicity, it looks better without it and presumably everyone in attendance is aware of your accomplishments.

    Also, last I checked people who earn PhD’s are called doctors. I work in health care and am not sure where previous posters are getting their information but each and every single one of them is Dr. so and so. While most of my coworkers prefer to be addressed by their names, if they give a presentation, give out a business card, or get introduced by someone other than themselves.. its Dr.

    Post # 30
    Member
    3208 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    View original reply
    KC-2722:  it’s my understanding that the social title of Dr. is generally only used by medical practitioners.

     

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