(Closed) RSVP shocker from a BM

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I will be calling people if I don’t get a response.  We are having a small wedding (~100 guests including bridal party) and I don’t want people just showing up!

Post # 4
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

No, I think you should absolutely call if people don’t return your RSVP cards.  If they don’t RSVP and come anyways…it’ll be terrible to not have food/space for them

I was always one not to send a RSVP back right away after receiving it…but now that I have been planning my own wedding I am SO much more diligent about it.  So much rides on your final count!

Post # 5
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

No, I think your Bridesmaid or Best Man is a little crazy and better expect to get lots of phone calls in the future. Some people may  just forget, you can’t assume “no.”

Post # 6
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

yes, there are those inconsiderate people who just forget….they don’t think about the consequences of not RSVPing…and honestly, why would they…its not their wedding….its definately common….normal, NO! right…hells no!

it’s not a huge percentage of people, so don’t worry…and you’ll know when to gently remind them!

Post # 8
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

You are not psycho bride for wanting to know how many people to expect.  I think most people today assume that it is ok to not respond to an invite or that by not responding, they are signaling that they will not be attending, but in reality it is just plain rude to not give a response to ANY invitation, wedding or otherwise.  I, for one, have already made a plan to spend the weekend after the response date calling the people whom I have not heard from.

(This is one of those things that really chafes my hide if you can’t tell.)

Post # 9
Member
2476 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I always respond… whether it’s yes or no.  Does your Bridesmaid or Best Man not send a gift either when she doesn’t respond??  Wow!!

Post # 10
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Sometimes I respond with a “no” via telephone or email to explain why I can’t make it, then never actually send the card in.  But I’ve always responded…

I will definitely be calling and pestering!

Post # 11
Member
1232 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

We had about 10-15 RSVP no-shows. It’s a little rude and annoying, but I was just thankful I only had to call 15 people as opposed to 100! After calling I found out that 5 of those 15 ARE coming which was the most frustrating part. If I hadn’t called they wouldn’t have had a seat or a meal… How embarrassing for them! haha!

Post # 12
Member
2681 posts
Sugar bee

I thought from your title that your Bridesmaid or Best Man RSVP’d no to your wedding!  🙂 I definitely had to call people (or rather have my mom or DH’s mom call people) that didnt reply and they were all No’s.  Totally rude in my opinion.

Post # 13
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I mean I’d like to say it’s rude not to respond at all but some people, as crazy as it might sound, think if they don’t respond at all the bride will take that as a “no”. For me I hope people actually send a “NO” to me because I need that organization! So you bet your butt if people don’t RSVP I’ll be calling them to find out yes or no. Luckily it’s a small wedding so it won’t take long.

Post # 14
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Whoa, that is rude! But somehow not surprising to me 🙁 I hate talking to people on the phone and am not looking forward to needing to follow up with phone calls.

Post # 15
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I haven’t ever heard of someone doing this, but yes I would second everyone here in saying that the phone calls (although a bit tiresome) are nessecary to get an accurate head count.

Post # 16
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I will admit this is what I have done in the past Embarassed but now that I am a bride I will never do it again! Not really sure why I did it or why people do it. I do have trouble telling people no, maybe thats it. I would not have been offended if the bride had called me to see if I was coming though. Wouldn’t worry about that. I might have been a bit embarassed that I didn’t send it back but thats about it.

Never never again, bad habit

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