Post # 1
I know what to do, but people are just frustrating me. There is less than a month before our RSVPs are due and we still don’t have half of them back yet. Okay, not a problem. No big deal. But it seems like everyone and their grandma wants to just invite more people! First it was his grandma telling us we have to invite her sister, and then it was friends inviting dates. Then a Groomsmen invites a girl that has stood him up for the past 2 years and who if she can’t/won’t be there, we know the Groomsmen won’t tell us that in advance. And then another friend invited her parents and younger sister. Granted, I know them, but the invitation did not say the Smith Family. And I sent it to her own residence, not even the parents’. Grrr.
And with not even half of the RSVPs back with less than a month to go. I just know we are going to get another family tacking on 3 or 4 more people. I know it. I just, why do people think they can just do whatever they want? Because I just wrote out names on the envelopes for giggles. Sigh. Sorry, I just really needed to vent.
Post # 3
She invited her parents and her sister? What?!
People adding others onto their invites just baffles me. We only had one person add a kid so while that stunk I’m glad we didn’t have more. I just don’t understand why people are so clueless! But really that friend inviting her parents and her sister really takes the cake. I don’t even understand how that can be confusing for her…
Good luck with the rest of them! Hopefully people get them in on time and don’t add more people 🙂
Post # 4
@Kat369: I’m sorry you are dealing with this! However, it is YOUR wedding – so letting people invite their own guests is NOT OK! Unless the person inviting more people is paying for the wedding, they don’t have that power. It sounds like you need to stand up and say “NO”. Yes, people should know better than to invite their own guests, however, if you don’t say NO they may not realize what they did was wrong (crazy, I know). SAY NO! NO! NO!
Post # 5
Thanks. 🙂 The other ones didn’t bug us as much, but the girl inviting her family we said no to. It just blows my mind that people think this is okay.
Post # 6
@Kat369: You need to be firm with people when all’s said and done. If anyone tags on other people on their RSVP (I’m confident they won’t given a) they’re not that rude and b) they have to choose menu and drink options on the RSVP cards, so it will be obvious who and how many people are invited), they will be getting a polite but firm phone call from us informing them that only those listed on the invitation are invited; end of story, no ifs, no buts. no discussion. So, you need to be firm with people.
As far as the deadline goes: well, you do still have a month until the deadline you gave, so it’s not really fair for you to get annoyed that people haven’t replied yet. When we set our deadline we’re going to make it for 2 weeks before we actually want/need to know numbers, so that we have time to chase up any stragglers.
Post # 7
@Kat369: If youre like me and feel bad for telling people no.. dont worry! we had only one family RSVP no.. and people ask DAY OF if they could just bring 3 extra people.. any way 20 people who RSVPed yes didnt even show up.. i was stressing theat we wouldnt hav seats, and we had extra. Try not to worry too much about it… but it def is frustrating.
Post # 8
@barbie86: I’m not annoyed that people have’t replied. I’m dreading the possibility of having to talk to more guests and politely explain that ‘No, you cannot bring Little Johnie’ or ‘No, your Aunt Mimi can’t come’.
@Kandiss16: Oh that would make me so mad if 20 people didn’t show up. But I know it is a real possibility. What happens will happen and the day will be great. This part has just been a tad bit irritating.
Post # 9
@Kat369: Ahh OK, I get you now!
The only advice I can give is to remember that it is EXTREMELY rude to add people to an RSVP, and that these people are showing you no respect in doing so. As such, you absolutely should not feel bad about setting them straight. It might also be an idea to have your OH make the calls to those on his side, and you to deal with those on your side, so that at least you’re ‘spreading the load’.
For me personally, if people did this I would be horrified, and, being brutally honest, I wouldn’t be bothered about upsetting or offending them by being blunt with them. I would also reconsider our relationship with them for the future, as I really do feel quite strongly about this; I try not to associate with people who lack basic manners. However, I’m not a very nice person, and I know that for many, it’s more difficult. But, just keep in mind that THEY are in the wrong, not you.