- 10 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
Ugh, so here’s a little back story to my frustration. X and me met at University, when she became the gf of one of my close friends. They eventually split up, but she remained within my group of friends, and we also became friends. However, as our lives developed, it became clear that I did not want to pursue the corporate career I had initially studied for, and entered the creative profession instead. X became something financial in the city. She has always had a creative side, but decided that there was no money in it and thus entered the corporate world instead. However, when I started to make a real go of it, and actually managed to make a living from my art, she started to become more and more distant and our contact was limited to seeing each other a few times a year. Whenever we did see each other, she was both competitive and sarcastic, emphasising in a passive agressive way that she was making a good living from her work, as opposed to me, who certainly couldn’t afford this and that.
I have supported her through many of her life choices (some that i didn’t agree with, especially concerning her treatment of the situation with her ex bf) and even attended her destination wedding two years ago, which included flying to a different country and staying at a hotel. During her wedding, me and Fiance were literally all but ignored, and everytime I tried to speak with her she acted like it was a little bit of a nuisance and that I should be glad even just to have been invited. At the time it did bother me, but I put it down to bridal nerves. Then, three months later, when I visited our mutual friend Y, I saw that she had received a thank you card from X for our joined present (even mentioning in the card that she was tahnking both Y and me) and never bothered to send me one, even though she knew it was a joined present. This made me very angry indeed, and for a while I contemplated cancelling the friendship. Y persuaded me to give it another go, that I had been at fault as well for not keeping in touch enough with X and not making more of an effort. Fine. I made a point of going to see X more often (we were now living in the same city) and I thought our relationship had improved slightly over the last year. X did attend my hen night, which I was happy with.
Now to the real vent. X has recently had a baby and ever since has wanted to buy a property to be settled. she has been openly jealous of the house with garden Fiance and I bought a few years ago, which would be unaffordably expensive in the city X lives in. Her property search has been mired with doubt, as even though she is well-off, her money doesn’t buy a lot in the place she lives. However, it needs to be said here that Fiance and I lived in a tiny flat in a questionable but ‘up-and-coming’ area for five years before ‘trading up’ to our lovely home, and that we did up our old place with lots of hard graft, DIY and love labour, thus increasing its value. X is not prepared to make that compromise, so in turn has had a nightmare time looking at overpriced tiny places in swish areas. Now she has finally bought a place, but has been having doubts about whether it is really worth the price they are paying.They are about to exchange contracts.
So I am waiting and waiting for their RSVP, it is now over a year since I announced the date, more than 6 months since I sent out the Save the Date and one week past the RSVP deadline. I finally phoned them today to find out their menu choices. Mumbling…oh, we were still waiting to see when we would move house. WTF!!!! I know moving house is important to her, but my wedding is also important and they knew waaaayyy in advance that this would happen. We are about three weeks away from my wedding now – they have not even exchanged contracts yet. I just feel that for once, she should make an effort to show that she is my friend and be at the wedding, to let me have my big moment. I have been at so many of hers. As I am typing this, it occurs to me ‘why am I even bothered’ but somehow I am. What do you bees think?