(Closed) RSVP Vent

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
13010 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ugh, for real.  Posts like these make me SO afraid to send out my own invitations next year!!   Good luck figuring this out — and stand your ground!  Tell your cousin she can face family without a friend there!

Post # 4
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Unfortunetly not everyone understand wedding protocals. We arent worried about this ourselves because only a few local guests are invited and anyone who is willing to travel 1300km to my wedding is more than welcome to come and have fun.

Post # 5
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

haha I’m not going lie the first time I starting get my invites I wasn’t sure what the line was for lol. Although I’m sure some people know and choose to do it on purpose. Sucks! Sorry I hope not everyone will respond in the same way.

Post # 6
8429 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think that your RSVP could be confusing to some people because you are asking how many guests are comig. I don’t really blame them and wouldn’t be angry, it is just a misunderstanding. Some people are not aware that the names on the envelope are those who are invited and other bries and grooms mistakenly just address the invites to the main person or the household so you can see why guests can get confused.

The way I have seen it work (which wont help you of course but may help others) is


_____  of __3_ guests attending

_____Must decline with regret


I think you shoudl just call the guests who have incorrectly RSVP’ed and apologise for the confusion and explain that x,y was invited not x,y & z.

Post # 7
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yeah. I hear you. We asked our guests to initial their entree choice….really not that difficult. Our first RSVP is wrong, so I ant wait for the fun of trying to figure these out mehhhhhh.

Post # 8
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I unfortunately feel like 

_____ Number of guests attending

_____Must decline with regret

has become an invitation to people to chose their own number for those lines.

Sucks. πŸ™

Post # 9
2603 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Oh there are some hilarious ones on the ‘bee of people responding to RSVPs that make literally NO sense. Like slashing a line through the “M” line and putting a star next to the # of people attending. It’s like…???

I think when people read “# of people attending” they interpret it as it’s up to their discretion to choose how many people they’d like to bring (instead of what it REALLY means, which is out of the number of people in your party we actually invited, how many of THEM are coming)? 


OP, sorry this is happening, but you can’t earn your wedding-grade purple heart without the RSVP woes πŸ™‚

Post # 10
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Where do these people come from? Who raised them? It’s nuts! 

Do you guys see this in just people who have never been married before, like they have no clue how hard making out a guest list really is? 

Post # 11
150 posts
Blushing bee

it’s stuff like this that makes me want to type out a different RSVP card for each invite, like:


Please check the names of those who can attend:

__ Mrs. Nancy Somethington

__ Mr. John Somethington

__ Junior Somethington


Just so people can’t pull that crap!!!

Post # 12
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I had some of the same problems with our guests. Some we have plus 1s too because they are good friends or we knew they have been in a relationship for a while. Some didn’t because we haven’t spoken to them in a while or they are not our closet friends and some of them have replied yes with so-and-so. It’s not that bad bc we have already had guests decline so the number stays the same it’s just plain annoying. Then to make it worse, dear Fiance is inviting people who we didn’t send an invite to and is telling people they can bring friends ( I only found out this when a RSVP came back from a male friend with 2 extra names on it, his new Flower Girl and his roommate) and when I asked Fiance he was like, “yeah I said he could bring them both.” It really makes you want to lay it out like Purpleginger said. 

Post # 13
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@countrygirl62312:  I feel your pain.  I did this too and have been getting most back with just an x next to an entree.  Super frustrating.  I think of the 40 or so RSVPs I’ve gotten back maybe 5 people have initialed what they want to eat (unless of course, both want the same thing…then no problem).  

It’s going to be FI’s job to figure this situation out since most of the people who have responded thus far are his family or friends.  I’m holding out hope my family gets it.  

Post # 15
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@countrygirl62312:  I asked guests to initial their entree choices too, and guess how many people initialed their entree? Zero! I don’t know when an initial started meaning the same thing as a check mark, but that doesn’t help me know who wants what. 

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