Post # 1
I just got my friends wedding invite in the mail and I have to share the RSVP info! I never really thought of myself as an etiquette person, but maybe I am!
The wedding invite says to RSVP to Susan and then it gives her phone number. Susan is not the bride, or even the brides mother, nor the grooms family who is hosting the ceremony and reception.
I don’t know why I am so bothered by this but I am not looking forward to phone calling in my RSVP and the poor lady that has to take them all, what a nightmare it looks like it is her cell number. I’ve really been looking forward to this wedding but now I am not as excited about it.
Ok, just had to share….. I post here regularly but didn’t want to use my real name in case the bride is on here. I would hate to make her feel bad, I don’t think she knows how to do all of this, or really cares I guess.
Has anyone else heard of this? Or do this for their own wedding? Did it work well?
Post # 3
I have heard of this. Actually, many of the invites I have gotten have a phone number as an option (not usually the only one though).
My invites will have two options – phone or internet.
Don’t feel awkward calling; I’m sure she’s expecting a lot of calls and doesn’t mind!
Post # 4
I did a standard RSVP card with postage paid, but also included my phone number to call or text and my email address. I have gotten one email RSVP so far. I just sent invites out last week. I have received 13 postcards back.
Kepp your fingers crossed for me, but so far no extra plus one’s!
Only 84 more to go!
Post # 5
email and cell phones didnt exist when the original etiquette book was written – for some people using technology makes it easier for them to control the data
me personally? i like getting mail and cards so im still an old fashion girl but im a luddite
Post # 6
I had phone and email on my invites for rsvp, no one thought anything of it, And I am for saving a tree as well, lol Like eloping said, things have changed.
Post # 7
I’ve had a lot of phone RSVPs, but always to the bride or her mother, never to someone else. Hopefully Susan volunteered for the job!
Post # 8
I did just RSVP cards, but getting people respond is such a pain. I had people tell me in person, private message me on Facebook, email, etc. I was just glad people told me. I didn’t care how.
Post # 9
Maybe Susan is her wedding planner and told the bride to just have the people call her to make sure the bride doesn’t have to worry about it. Sometimes email and phone rsvp’s are perfectly fine. I don’t see a problem with it. If my invitations hadn’t come with rsvp cards, I would have done either phone or email.
Post # 10
I don’t think it’s a terrible idea. Whilst I loved receiving response cards in the mail, I also included my mom’s email address as many of our guests were out of country and we didn’t want them to have to pay for postage to mail the card back.
Is her wedding a sit down dinner with meal options? I had meal options for my guests and I sort of wish it had been a phone RSVP as many of our guests did not fill the card out correctly and we had to call/email people to find out who exactly wanted what meal. Had people called in their RSVP, it would have been so much easier to just ask them.
Also, in this day of being ecologically friendly, maybe she is just trying to conserve the amount of paper needed for her invites by eliminating a response card and envelope. I wouldn’t let something simple like this destroy your happiness and excitement for her wedding.
And who knows, maybe invites were just not important to her at all. They were so far down on my list of priorities that I didn’t even care what they looked like, as long as they got the important information across.
Post # 11
I agree with most of the PPs – RSVPs by phone are just fine. I included reply cards, but I also offered the option to RSVP via our wedding website for those who found it easier to do so. The important thing is to get a response, one way or another!
Why are you so concerned about the woman taking the RSVPs? Whoever she is (and I also thought she might be the wedding planner), I would assume she willingly took on the task. Seems silly to let this small thing dampen your enthusiasm for the wedding…
Post # 12
I’ve seen phone number RSVPs on shower invites, but never a wedding invite. It wouldn’t bother me though. People end up RSVPing in lots of different ways anyway. :o)
Post # 13
Thanks Bees! I don’t know why I was so offended, but it has been on my mind since I saw it. You guys had good insight and it was really helpful! Back to excited for the wedding!
@red_pepper_gal: @Miss. Snowball: Susan is her sister, and probably her made of honor. It just seemed so odd to me.
@Ree723: I bet it is the conservation thing now that you mention it. She is a pretty Earth friendly girl, and so is her FH so that actually makes a lot of sence. I’m not sure if there are meal options, but I should find out when I call based on what info she asks for.
Post # 14
@not really me: It’s really not so odd for her Maid/Matron of Honor to take this on. It’s a big responsibility, and that’s what MOH’s are for – to take on significant tasks to help out the bride! Anyway, glad your enthusiasm for the wedding has returned. 🙂
Post # 15
Your friend may be both more proper, and more considerate, than you give her credit for.
Those cute little R.s.v.p. cards, sweet as they look when sitting all matched with your invitations and your thank-you notes, are not actually proper form. They aren’t traditional: about fifty years ago they were the current clever fad — rather as photo-booths and candy-buffets are now — and didn’t really become utterly common for another couple of decades. Etiquette deprecates them, because they were invented in recognition of guests’ lack of social graces with respect to replying, and because they imply that your guests might not have stamps and social stationery of their own.
Maybe your friend knows that when receiving a completely formal invitation, a proper guest takes out her own formal stationery and hand-writes that
“Miss Aspasia Phipps
accepts with pleasure the kind invitation of
to her wedding on <date> at <time> at <location>”
and then sends it to the return address which should have been on the envelope that the invitation came in.
So, people who love getting things in the mail and love tradition and love good stationery are covered: they have the choice of responding in writing. It is nice of your friend to include a cell-phone number for the rest of her guests. With a cell phone, they can either text or call their response, both of which are probably more familiar forms of social communication for most guests, than is the social note. Each person from the most traditional to the most innovative gets to reply in the way they are most comfortable — except the email users. They will just have to pick one of the other choices, I guess.
Post # 16
I have a wedding invite that only has the option to phone and because of that I have been putting it off. I suck I know, but I really don’t like telling people I can’t attend their wedding even if I have a valid reason why I can’t attend 🙁