(Closed) RSVP w/ their kid too? How do you say no?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4523 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Itsallcomingtogether:  If you’re not close, I’d absolutely email. I also wouldnt worry about them taking your message “personally”, since it is rude to add people on to an RSVP.

If this were me, I’d simply email: “hey there! got your RSVP. So excited you and ___ are joining us, but unfortunately we do not have the room for any extra guests. I hope you understand!”

Post # 4
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I just had the same happen, and haven’t responded because I’m not sure what to do. I feel bad because they are out of town, my Future Mother-In-Law, whose family is doing this might look into finding a baby sitter for them. And then I can reply saying something along the lines of sorry we can’t aCcomodate your child, to help you out we have asked so and so to take care of your kids for the evening.

Post # 5
46680 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Similar to the pp. I would email them and say ” We are so happy that you and ___ are able to join us on our wedding day.  We are however, not able to extend an invitation to ___ as we are not able to expand the guest list any further.  We know you will understand.  Please let us know if you need help with a sitter (if they are from out of town).”

Post # 6
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013


say we are excited you and your husband are joining us but we cannot accommodate your children.  we are sorry.

if they are traveling from out of town, tell them you can recommend a babysitter.

i wouldn’t say because you don’t have room because that leaves it open, they might say if others decline then there will be room.


Post # 7
6339 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

@julies1949:  This. Perfectly put.

Just be straightforward and to the point, and whatever you do, don’t apologise or give any excuses. Just say that you cannot accommodate any additional guests, and that you are sure they understand. The minute you mention cost/space etc it gives them an opening for ‘negotiations’ which you don’t want.

I also personally would not worry about being direct, or about how it would be taken, as they have made a HUGE faux pas and been incredibly rude by including people who are not invited on their RSVP.

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