(Closed) RSVP woes– how hard do you try to contact people?

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
1509 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

If you have already tried to contact them and they have not responded, I would assume that they are a no.  People who don’t plan on coming won’t be as apt to respond. If they were planning on attending but either forgot to send the card or did, but it got lost, would be prompt to respond as they wouldn’t want to be excluded.  

All wedding reception locations always make meals for an additional few plates since number do waver ever so slightly based on what you provide them with.  There will be 1 or 2 people who are not able to attend who responded yet due to an emergency or whatever.  Likewise, there may be someone (this is less likely) who did not respond despite your attempts to contact them who does attend.  Obviously this screws up the seating and the place cards, but an additional place setting can always be squeezed in at the last second. 

Post # 4
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I would assume they’re not coming. You’ve made multiple attempts to contact them, and they are probably not replying because a lot of people don’t like giving a direct “no.” At this point, silence = not coming.

Post # 6
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If you don’t hear from them by Wednesday, e-mail them again saying “We’re turning our final headcount in to our caterer tomorrow. Since we haven’t heard from you, we’ve marked you down as a ‘no’. If you would like to come, please reply tonight so I can let the caterer know… ” or something like that. That way they’ll know you’ve assumed they aren’t coming.

Also, are you sure they’re receiving these e-mails? Can you call them instead?

 

Post # 8
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

There’s a fine line between checking in and stalking…don’t cross over

Post # 9
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee

I would assume it’s a no. They’ve been aware of it for months, you’ve done your job following up, if they can’t be bothered to figure out if they can make it or not then you don’t need to be bothered reserving them a seat. It’s always easy to add people if that changes but it isn’t worth you stressing over. No answer is as good as a no in my book.

Post # 12
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@AutumnElegance:  Yeah, if you know they’re coming and are just those kind of people it’s one thing, but maybe Aunt Myrle broke her hip or something..you know?

Post # 13
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d assume no. But, probably would have been better to follow up with a phone call not an e-mail.  

Post # 14
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would send just one more email that states “Hi Friendname! I hope you are doing well. Fiance and I need to get our final numbers to our caterers. If I don’t hear from you by Wednesday evening (August 22nd), then I’ll put you down as a no. Let’s catch up soon!”

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