(Closed) RSVP wording for guests who tend to bring along uninvited guests

posted 9 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

On ours I did:

We have reserved you __ seats

Number of guests attending __

And then I just stamped the number of guests in the top line and allowed them to fill in the bottom (mainly in case I were inviting 2 and only 1 could make it). There were only a few people that concerned me would do this so I just wanted to set it straight. I stamped a pink colored ink on my white cardstock with silver ink invites so people would notice it, too.

Post # 5
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

if they add more  add a perosnal note saying " we have a  small guestlist and can only accomodate a certain number of people"

 

I did that with my girlfriends a few are are casually dating guys who they may not be serious about so I added a little note saying" because my guestlist is only 50 I have a very limited number to invite, if someone backs out then I will let you know if you can invite a date" I only invited a girlfriend’s husband, everyone else are solo; unless some people back out; two are seriously dating now and my fiance met them so we willprobably invite them too

Post # 6
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House

We’re having a plated dinner, so we asked each guest — the invited names are the only ones on the outer envelope (no inner) to initial her/his entree choice.  That way, if more initials are there than guests we’re inviting from that family/group, we’ll know it…and can take the next step with the awkward (but necessary) phone call to fix the problem.

Post # 7
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I second writing either "we have reserved __ seats in your honour", or "__ of __ attending" (or you can even put both!). You can also have them initial their meal choices, if you want to make double sure.

Post # 8
Member
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

On a recent invite I got, it actually had a card that was a formal RSVP card M____ and also had a little are that said extra guests (but worded formally I forget what exactly) and I found it to be so weird.

Like what, they are allowing people to invite their own guests to come along? Lol.

Post # 9
Member
3331 posts
Sugar bee

I always thought that people would get the hint that only the people whose names were listed on the invitations would be invited.  If only that were true!  You can try the ___ of ___guests will be attending to give people the hint.  Also, spread the info by word of mouth that the wedding is invitation only and you can only accommodate 125 guests.

Post # 10
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Outdoor ceremony, banquet hall reception

This was BY FAR the worst part of wedding planning.

We did the "we have reserved ___ seats for you at the reception" thing, but people crossed out the number I had written and filled in their own number! Totally frustrating.

In the end it all worked out because we had quite a few people RSVP no, but my major wedding breakdown was over people adding in extra guests.

Post # 11
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

@La Gorda Bella – I was in the same boat. My family is the same way. Most of them have never been to formal weddings and they try to bring whomever they wish to a wedding. Well this was NOT accepted at ours. If they wanted to bring someone they had to ask first for approval. Luckily the only people who had asked were asking for people that should have been on the list in the first place.

Anyway, on the response card, I did have to put "We reserved ___ seats in your honour".

Somehow this seamed to have worked

Post # 12
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Our guest lists jumped because people decided they were going to invite others.  I insisted on inner enveloped for that purpose.  I want to be able to look at my wedding pictures and not have to wonder who is in the pictures.  Unfortunetly, I think there will be 15-20 people who fall in that boat.  And what gets me is that the invited guests know they are the only ones invited but invite others anyway.  They really should ask for permission if they feel they need to bring a guest. I definetly suggest using the "we have reserved ______ seats in your honor" wording.  If I had to do it all over again, that is the way to go.  Now I’m in the process of doing the seating chart for all these people.

Post # 13
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2009

@La Gorda Bella: So, I’m guessing that this may be a cultural thing….I know that I will soon be sending out invitations and I am soooo dreading sending them to a few people, not because I don’t want them there, but because they will probably take the invitation as an invitation for their whole family and their significant others!

 If possible, post how everything turned out and whether your family took the subtle hint or whether they ended up doing whatever they wanted to. I would like to know what I have in store for me in a few weeks 😉 Suerte!

Post # 14
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Just received my first rsvp that included the guests two children who were not included on the invitation because we have opted not to have children at the wedding.  Awkward!  I sent her an email saying how excited I was they she could come but explained how we had opted not to include children on our guest list because it is an evening wedding and because it is at a museum.  Then I invited the family for a visit when we could spend time with them.    I hope she understands.  I will be checking my email all the time now until I hear from her.  

We used the initial rsvp format….

Post # 15
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I have heard that so many people have had a nightmare with unexpected RSVPs

One thought if you have extra time (it is more work)

Is to list the names of the people you are invited and next to EACH name have a check box accept and decline!

That way you won’t have ppl crossing out the number and adding their own number!

Post # 16
Member
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My sister’s RSVP’s went as so:

“We have limited seating at the reception; with this in mind we have reserved ____ seats for you[&etc if applicable].

Number attending: _______

Please respond by ________.”

 

Unfotunately we have a particular aunt & uncle who ALWAYS bring 2-4 extra guests. My sister knew that it was an inevitability & stressed over it intensely [who wouldn’t with a venue limit of 150 and a guest list of 250?].

It was to the point that the Maid/Matron of Honor & other attendants had to quite bluntly tell the relatives [repeatedly] that there was limited seating & the venue was unable to accomodate ‘extras.’  It then escalated to the point of stating that The bride & groom did not even KNOW the ‘extras.’ Followed by several pleas of “PLEASE DO NOT BRING THEM TO THE SUPPER. They are welcome to join us in the ceremony & cocktails/dancing after dinner but we are simply unable to accomodate those outside of careful planning.”

 

I hope you’re able to politely convey to your guests the budgetary & venue restrictions when it comes to inwanted extras.

In my poor sisters case it came down to lines being drawn in the sand, name calling and the relatives in question being blacklisted by quite a few people. :/

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