(Closed) RSVP'd late, now wants to bring an uninvited date?! What do I say?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1917 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Just tell him that you don’t have room and won’t be able to accommodate her.

Post # 4
Member
1832 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would say no, sorry we are almost at our max head count of what we can afford and we are still waiting for some late responders.

Post # 6
Bee
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center

Just tell him:

“Hi John! I’m so glad that you are going to be able to make it to the wedding! Unfortunately, we have already had to give our venue the final numbers for the big day and will be unable to accomodate your date. Can’t wait to see you!”

Even if that isn’t the truth. Just make it short and sweet. It is rude of him to assume that a last minute addition is okay, especially after you gave him every chance to add a +1.

ETA: I saw that you said your venue had room. Doesn’t matter in my book. If he has the galls to say anything to you about it, just say that you had a guest that didn’t show. Heck, don’t say anything, you really don’t have to explain anything other than “no”.

Post # 7
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

I would let him since he is traveling far. 

But if you choose not to, I expect he would probably no show.

Post # 8
Member
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Don’t mention budget or being unable to afford another guest. He may offer to pay for her meal.

Just tell him that you are sorry, but you are maxed out for your venue.

Post # 10
Member
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

“No” is a valid answer.  Adding “I’m sorry” and even explaining final numbers are in would soften the blow. 🙂 

Post # 11
Member
3262 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@julies1949:  yesss. the money doesn’t matter if the answer is no regardless. And your budget is none of his business, IMO.

Post # 12
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Are you sure he wasn’t joking? Because when I read “I paid for her already”, I get a joking vibe from the text given that you’re getting married in Vegas. If it doesn’t mean what I think it means….what does that mean???

Post # 13
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Blushing2013:  +1

what the HELL does “i paid for her already” mean?! is he joking about bringing a hooker. serious about bringing a hooker? got a really demanding girlfriend? confused! lol

Post # 14
Member
993 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m pretty sure he’s joking… lol sometimes guys say stupid things like that just to play with you

Post # 15
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think you should just let him bring the date. It sounds like you don’t care that much, and it might be easier than dealing with more RSVP trouble at this date. 

Post # 16
Hostess
2556 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You say no.  

The topic ‘RSVP'd late, now wants to bring an uninvited date?! What do I say?’ is closed to new replies.

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