Post # 1
We are having an extremely small wedding (50) with families and extremely close friends only. We sent out invites last week – we were very specific on who was invited. We already have a little one coming to the wedding who wasn’t invited, but I’ve decided to let it be.
Now a family that has already replied and rsvp’d for 4, Mom, Dad, and two sons, wants to add a date for one of the sons. Our blanket rule has been to invite with a guest if someone is in a relationship or they are a close friend who won’t know anyone but us… I’m quite anti bridezilla, I’m more just venting… but if you already RSVP’d why is your mom emailing FI’s mom to see if now you can bring a date? And you’re not even seeing anyone….Everyone knows we’re keeping it super small! We’re already going out of our way to provide this son a vegan meal… isn’t that enough???
phew. rant over. so much for not having people at the wedding that we won’t know 😛
Post # 3
You don’t have to say yes if they RSVP’d and you are already going out of your way for the same kid. And the fact that he’s not even in an actual realationship tells me the date shouldn’t come anyway. But that’s just me. = )
Post # 4
It would be one thing if they RSVP’s single and then wanted to add a guest with some time to spare. it is totally another to see if you can add a date for one of your kids. I would just say politely that you won’t be able to accommodate the addition, but thank them for the courtesy of asking. If said kid decides not to come, hopefully they let you know!
Post # 5
I totally get how you feel. Our wedding is turning to be about working around other people too. It makes me soo mad because it’s supposed to be our day and our decisions.
I would put my foot down. Just sayin’ : )
Post # 6
These +1 issues are going to be the death of us brides!
lol if your mommy RSVPs for you, requests a special meal, pays for the present & asks if you can bring a date–I’d say you shouldn’t be entitled to bring a guest. When he’s a big boy he can bring whomever he would like! He knows his brother, his parents & I’m assuming a lot of the other guests. I don’t think he NEEDS to bring a date.
Haha that reminds me of something on Friends. Phoebe asked Monica if there was a vegetarian option. Monica said yes and Phoebe asked what it was. “Dancing!” was her response. 😛 You’re already making sure his needs are taken care of…
Post # 7
You don’t need to let him bring a date… they should’ve known better than to ask, since you’re keeping it small!
People are rude, though… my friend had a cousin who RSVP’ed yes, then changed to no, then changed to yes and said she was bringing a date (new boyfriend… she had not been invited to bring a date), they needed vegetarian entrees, and they were skipping the ceremony because they’re atheists. Sometimes guests are clueless.
Post # 8
Oh, that’s so tough. I also had a small wedding and it bothered me to no end when my guests wanted to bring random dates. Honestly, I didn’t handle it well. How old are they, especially if they’re invited along with their parents? I’m thinking 16 or 17? No date.
Mom should understand… she might have just thought there was no harm in asking. And from the kids’ point of view, by the time they’re that age, they don’t want to hang out with mom & dad at a wedding — they could be throwing a fit! But I don’t know, that’s just how I’m seeing it and adding my own details.
Post # 9
I would say no unless he’s over 18 and it’s a serious relationship. Just nicely tell the mom that at this stage in planning, you cannot add any guests.
Post # 10
I had 25 people cancel the last week of my wedding. Just let them come. It will save you any added stress. All the numbers will work out at the end. (although I completely understand why it’s frustrating.)
Post # 11
No way! That is incredibly rude! The invitation was for four! With guests and dates, you have to be consistent of people end up with hurt feelings. You end up with a “How come so and so got a date, but I didn’t?” kind of a situation. You don’t need that kind of drama! As uncomfortable as it is, I would call and say that the invitation was for four. They’re the ones being rude by RSVPing for an uninvited guest! Good luck!
Post # 12
O hell no, just tell them sorry but due to space constraints you can’t allow him to bring a guest, sorry. So rude to even ask. IDK why people think its OK to just assume they can bring a guest when the invitation wasn’t addressed as ‘+guest’