(Closed) RSVP’d too late…you can’t come, how do I tell them?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i think the only way to tell them is to be honest. but i am not sure i understand how you invited people but no longer have space for them. what if everyone had said Yes on time?  

Post # 4
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I would call them and apologize for the confusion.  I’m assuming you had a date on the RSVP card.  Just tell them that the reason you had the date was because you had to give a final count and you can’t change that now.  If you make it sound like you’re bummed that they won’t be able to come they’ll understand.  

Post # 5
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’d be honest and say that you already had to give your venue the final count and they won’t budge. RSVP dates are in place for a reason. It’s not your fault these people chose to reply weeks after the deadline. 

Post # 6
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

It’ll be an awkward conversation, but you have to talk to them.

Post # 7
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

Hey! That was my 1000th post.

Post # 10
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Ugh, I was in a similar situation. I had guest who didn’t RSVP and were still talking about attending the wedding. Luckily, I found this out through relatives a week before the wedding and had to call them and ask them not to come (awkward). Because we received less than 75% of our confirmed attending we actually ended choosing a small and cheaper venue. It is always tough when people don’t follow etiquette. But just stand your ground, if you and your fiance have already used the money elsewhere just behonest. Tell them that the venue needed a confirmed number by X date and as you hadn’t recieved their RSVP in time, you’re sorry but you won’t have room/food for them at the reception… 

Good luck, hope it works out.

Post # 11
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

That is going to be an awkward conversation for sure.

But you will just have to be honest with them and say you gave your final numbers and now the restaurant won’t change it.

Post # 12
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Make the restaurant look like the bad guy, which is true, they refused to accommodate extra guests once the final number was received.  Not much else you can do!

Post # 13
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

How about you give me their numbers and I will call them and be like ‘SUCK IT ASSFACES YOU SHOULDA RSVPD BY THE REQUESTED DATE! ENJOY YOUR TV DINNER THAT NIGHT!’


…just sayin’.

Post # 15
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Is the wedding itself in the restaurant?  Perhaps you could soften the blow by letting them know you would be happy to include them at the ceremony but so sorry, you needed to give in final counts to the vendor, who won’t budge.  (The fact that you spent the extra monies elsewhere now is beside the point – I wouldn’t mention it.)

Post # 16
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You didn’t contact the guests who didn’t RSVP? Uh-oh. I would call the venue first and see if there’s any way they can adjust the numbers, most prepare a bit extra in case.

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