(Closed) RSVPed yes to the reception, but not coming to the ceremony?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I will be offended if people only come to the party and not my wedding.  I do care about that stuff and find it rude.  Also if you are paying for 2 plates of food for people that won’t be there for the dinner that also isn’t fair to you.

Post # 18
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

My aunt and her flowershop crew do this all the time.  They will go set-up for one wedding and leave and go setup for the next and then come back to the reception.  In my case they showed up at noon decorated and were still decorating the ball room during the ceremony.  My aunt came and watched the ceremony but the rest of the crew stayed inside.  I think it hurt them more that they missed the ceremony then it did me.  I’ve know the flowershop crew since I was a little girl.

So to answer your question. No I wouldn’t be upset if she left to go do the other girls’ make-up and come back to at least witness part of your day. 

Post # 19
4 posts
  • Wedding: August 2010

Since she has another job to get to then wants to make it back for your reception I wouldn’t be upset. I have family that’s not coming to my ceremony because of my religion.. THAT annoys me if it was a job or school or previous obligation I would think you shouldn’t be upset. She wants to celebrate with you.

I would however be irritated by guests who bring new bf/gf’s with them

Post # 20
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

we actually had a couple that told us they didn’t make it to the ceremony – but was on time for the reception.

Post # 21
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m with most people. I think it is in quite poor taste to not attend the ceremony, yet come to the reception.

It is understandable with work or school conflicts. But my blood started boiling when Future Father-In-Law said people wouldn’t come because of the gap between the ceremony and reception (ceremony at 2, cocktails at 5). I think it is to be expected that a wedding will have time between the two, photos and what not need to get done. I shouldn’t have to do photos beforehand (I want my Fiance to see me for the first time when I walk down the aisle).

If I knew a guest of mine was not coming to the ceremony simply because they don’t want to occupy themselves before the reception, I would almost not want them to come at all. The ceremony is so important and special, and if you care about the couple you should attend both. And if you don’t care about the couple, then politely decline the whole event.

Post # 22
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

This is totally a regional thing.  It is 100% commonplace for guests to skip the ceremony and just come to the “party” where I’m from (Chicago).  Yes, it’s quite inconvenient when the ceremony is at 1 PM and the reception does not start until 6:30, expecially when there is a significant distance between the two as well.  I always make it a point to attend family and close friend ceremonies, but coworkers or casual friends, yes, I will choose to skip it and just attend the reception.  I will have absolutely NO problem with the people who do not attend the ceremony and just the reception.  But again, that’s what is typically done in my neck of the woods.

Post # 23
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I dont find it rude. Personally I would rather only attend receptions. And we are getting married in another country so no one can attend the ceremony.

Post # 24
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I think most of the time it’s rude to attend a reception and not the ceremony and I would do anything I could to avoid doing that to a friend or family member but I’m pretty forgiving of others that do so. Stuff happens. If she’s a friend, it probably wasn’t her #1 choice to take on another job that day but sometimes that happens.

It’s just not worth stressing over.

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