(Closed) RSVPing verbally and guest who 'purposely' didn't use registry.

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
2574 posts
Sugar bee

I would either take back the one with the reciept, or I would hang on to the other one and give it to someone who wasnt at the shower as a gift. You can’t control who uses the registry I guess. Also maybe you could ask this lasy where she got it casually and most stores would let you atleast exchange or get store credit without reciept.

I would say just be happy you got a fairly nice girft from someone who you are not close to.

Post # 3
1325 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Mount Hermon

rm17:  I’m a little confused on the RSVP thing, but I certainly get what happened with the coffee maker. Whether I bought it off the registry our not, I’d never not have a gift receipt. How annoying. Sell it on Craig’s list. You can probably get at least $50 for it if you still have the packaging and it’s unused.

I hate Keurigs to, they make bad coffee! And buying the coffee for it is so expensive.

Post # 4
46613 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It is hard when people expect the bride to remember verbal rsvp’s. If you are in the midst of something, you may forget to add them to the list.  They really should rsvp in the method you requested.

It isn’t the end of the world however. Stand to the side of the bread aisle and text yourself  a reminder.

As far as gift registries are concerned, some people pride themselves on choosing a gift based on their knowledge of and relationship with you. There are stores who will allow returns of wedding gifts without a receipt if they carry the same model. Go online, search for that model of Keurig and see which stores carry it.

Post # 5
1499 posts
Bumble bee

like pp said, there are many stores that will take an item without a receipt. I would return the one I didn’t want. you will most likely end up with a gift card at that store, but you can spend it anyway you want. But I understand it’s annoying, and the same thing happened at my shower. There is a reason for registries!

Post # 6
720 posts
Busy bee

Ha, while I’m ok with people going off registry if they so choose, I do think it’s rude to purchase an item that is otherwise on the registry.

On the RSVPs, it sucks, but I really think the duty is on you to account for all RSVPs regardless of what form they come in.

Post # 7
8827 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013


MrsYellowDaffodil:  FYI – you can buy a reusable filter for $15 for the kurig and use any ground coffee you wish.  i don’t drink coffee but my husband does and he loves it.

 rm17:  you are proably going to have to make some phone calls tonight.  when people rsvp’ed verbally to you.  you should have said, please sent me a text or email, i’m never going to remember.  especially at your shower.


Post # 8
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

You should try to return the Keurig to Target or wherever they sell them.  They’ll likely give you at least store credit.  As far as “not knowing what to do or say”…you say thank you.


For the RSVPs, do you have a wedding website or Facebook page dedicated to the wedding?  Maybe post something there explaining that you need a call or a text, because you can’t keep track otherwise.

Post # 9
2347 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

rm17:  Your post made me laugh b/c a coworker just said to me yesterday, “You know my wife and I are coming, right?”  I told him I figured as much but please send back the RSVP.  When I went back to my office, I remembered I had extras so I marched back to him and said, “Here, fill this out and hand it back to me!” and that’s what he did LOL.  Sorry, but much like the industry I work in (print marketing) a verbal “OK” is NEVER gonna fly!!  

Post # 10
4518 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think with RSVPs via phone, people assume that telling you in person is just as good as calling you–it’s not like there’s a card that they’re neglecting to fill out. I 100% agree with you that they should have called or texted as you requested, but…everyone has trouble getting people to respond correctly. We wanted people to RSVP via our website, and I got my share of verbal responses. It was annoying, and I wondered why they couldn’t just do what I asked, but in the end it wasn’t a big deal. Everyone deals with this. 

I also don’t get why people go off registry–I love registries! They make the giver’s life so easy! But again, there’s nothing you can do, really. You can try returning the unwanted stuff, or donate it to charity and get the tax deduction. Either way, don’t keep anything you don’t want. 

Post # 11
890 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

the rsvp thing is kind of too late to do much about it–just make phone calls or texts tonight and just say you wanted to double check that they’d be there. make sure you write it down. 🙂

the shower thing: registry or no registry, i can honestly say i’ve never been to a shower where there wasn’t at least one repeat gift. it happens. you say thank you when you’re opening it (i don’t know why you’d be embarrassed; someone bought you a nice gift they thought you’d like. even if you didn’t, you can still appreciate them for it). i would either put it away until the keurig wears out (it will, we’ve gone through 2 already and 2 offices i’ve worked in have each replaced theirs several times), or return it to a store that carries that brand. you can say you got it as a gift and it came from there but you don’t have a gift receipt, and most of the time they’ll return it if it’s unopened, and will give you store credit.

Post # 12
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Try returning at Kohl’s, they take anything (and they sell Keurigs)

Post # 13
2837 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

rm17:  No one needs to use a registry.  End of story.


And as far as the RSVP’s go– as much as I’m trying to understand where you’re coming from, I think it happens to just about everyone.

Perhaps you should have included RSVP cards to be mailed in– and when someone verbally RSVPed, you could have easily said – Oh, that’s great! We’re so glad you can make it!  Would you mind sending the card in so we can keep accurate track?

I feel like unless you used a wedding website for RSVPs, that voicemails, calls, texts and emails can get messy.  What if the email goes into the junk box? 

Strangely enough- I have had voicemails that weren’t delivered to my phone for WEEKS- only to pop up as a new voicemail down the line- with the correct date and time the message was actually sent, but it’s like it got lost in the system.  Same with texts– they are generally speaking reliable, but not always.


Post # 14
1872 posts
Buzzing bee

Unfortunately asking for text/voicemail rsvps I think invites in person rsvps and asking your family members to let you know. I would probably rsvp in person. It would seem weird to send a text to someone I see every day or otherwise not just let them know the next time I saw them whether or not I could come. I think it is on you to jot down a note or make a note in your phone to keep track. 

Post # 15
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I have heard that bed bath and beyond will take returns for store credit on Keurigs. Like literally, it could be broken with no box and dirty from use, they’ll still give you credit.

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