If people don’t respond to your invitation by the date requested you follow up with them. You need a head count – and in your case, a meal selection. Your options for methods are… perhaps not the best. 😉
1. Is it rude to mention it to someone who RSVPs via text/email/in person?
“Hey, you know that pre-stamed envelope in there with a little card that fits perfectly in it? STICK IT IN THE MAIL.”
Yup, this comment would likely offend most people. That makes it rude. If people have replied to your invitation, you know their intent. This is true whether they called you, emailed you, texted you, sent back your card – or were incredibly proper and wrote their own note on their white stationary and let you know whether they are please to accept, or regret to decline your kind invitation.
2. How do you remind people that it’s past your RSVP deadline, but you need to know if they’re coming?
“Hey, remember that time I invited you to our wedding? Erm…are you coming or…?”
If somebody told you whether or not they’d attend face-to-face, and you were incredibly busy and didn’t write down the reply (Oops!) or if cousin Fred lost his invitation and forgot to reply, you should contact these people and ask their intentions. Phone calls seem to yeild the best results, but if you typically text your brother anytime you need to talk to him, and he hasn’t replied 4 days after your deadline, text him – he’s more likely to answer a text!
I phrased my inquiries something like this: “Hi Aunt Mildred, How are you? I’m getting ready to tell the wedding caterer how many meals to prepare, and I realized that I haven’t heard back from you. Will you be able to join us on the 27th? Yes? Wonderful! We’re serving baked chicken and grilled salmon, which would you prefer? The fish? Oh, good. Thank you! We’re looking forward to seeing you in a week.” – Of course, if Aunt Mildred cant attend, instead you tell her “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. You’ll be missed.”
3. Can you post a reminder on Facebook? (We created a super secret “wedding invitees” list, so the whole world will not be able to see it.)
“Hey everyone! Will you please send us your RSVP cards? Like…yesterday?”
Mixing weddings and facebook is shaky ground. While the “super secret wedding invitees list” is a good way to prevent you from advertising your party to folks who aren’t invited – it still leaves room for “I didn’t see your reminder! I haven’t logged in to facebook in 5 weeks!”
And your tongue-in-cheek (I hope!) request to send the cards “like.. yesterday” probably won’t spur many folks to reply. I would be more likely to respond to a reminder that’s worded more generally… “We’re excited to see RSVPs rolling in. Just a few days left before we need to tell our caterer how many people she’s cooking for!”
I’d follow up with any “delinquent RSVPers” personally. You’re less likely to upset the people who HAVE replied – “Hey everyone!” implies that NOBODY was polite enough to reply to your invitation. And that could make your prompt guests feel like they aren’t important. – The facebook reminder could also result in a lot of RSVPs via wall posts!