(Closed) RSVP's

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I personally don’t like the idea. We used postcard ones. My friend did this though and didn’t get a great response…

Post # 4
13290 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am very traditional and like to get mailed invitations to formal events.  I wouldn’t RSVP to an email invitation right away (I’d need to consult schedules, Fiance, etc), and would probably forget, honestly. 

Post # 5
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

How formal is your wedding?

We used both because I didn’t think it could hurt to give multple options. So far only a few people have chosen to RSVP online. But that doesn’t really mean anything because they had  stamped envelope in front of them…

Post # 6
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

not a fan personally.

Post # 7
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

We did website and phone RSVPs (I’ll post a photo of the RSVP card below). Our invitations were mailed January 15 and have a March 1 due date, and we’ve already received 25%. It is working out just fine. I think you have to know your crowd.

We set up a Google Voice number specifically to receive the phone RSVPs so it has a message with instructions on the voicemail (can also receive texts).

A handful of RSVPs have come in verbally as we see people, mostly family, but that probably would have happened with those folks even if we had provided a return card. 

I didn’t want to do postcards because I was worried about them getting torn up in the mail. Adding in an envelope RSVP added a fair amount of expense to the invites (postage for the RSVP, the envelope, and it would have kicked my invites into the next weight class), plus I didn’t really have a good spot in my design for them, although I could have made that work.

The other nice thing about website RSVP (although you could accomplish the same by reply to their email) is that it pushes them to review your website information. We did include all needed info on the invites, including hotel blocks, but as invites started going out, I noticed a few people booked their hotels online instead of calling and getting in the block (which is important for shuttle service). I was able to put a nice note on the bottom of the RSVP page on the website reinforcing for folks to call and directing them to the hotel info. 100% of our guests are out of town though, so we have a little more logistical stuff to deal with.

I don’t regret the website & phone RSVPs at all – it has been going very well. I think you just have to know your crowd. All of our guests use email, facebook, the web except for his 85 year old grandma. My 75 year old grandma does, no problem. No matter HOW you do RSVPs, there will be a certain percent that you have to track down. At least I’m not pissed I wasted postage on them, haha.

Post # 8
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@kyky:  No one I know over the age of 68 (grandmothers, great aunts, etc) has an email address (or a computer!) It’s not very convenient for your elderly guests.

Post # 9
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@kyky:  We made a website and it had an online RSVP system. It worked just fine!

Post # 10
9181 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@kyky:  Not a big deal to do this in my book, unless you’re having a super duper fancy wedding.  Many of the weddings I’ve attended had email or wedding website RSVPs, and I honestly prefer that over dealing with sending mail.

Post # 11
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Oh, I forgot to post the RSVP card. The colors/quality are completely off because I just took a screen cap of them, but you can get the layout idea.

Here’s how they fit into the overall invite:

Post # 12
1356 posts
Bumble bee

I think you should use a website rather than e-mail. Email is way too informal, the commitment level is very low and they will easily forget. A website I find is way more formal and I think your guest will feel that they are actually making the commitment to attend, and since it is out of the ordinary they are more likely to remember. 

I’m assuming you will still be sending out physical invitation cards, because that’s really the only way to go if people are expected to remember. 

I plan to give the option of mailing a reply for elderly guests, providing the option between the two for some, and giving the website option for those who I know would respond electronically given the option. In another post it was decided that you are under no etiquette obligation to pay for the return postage, although I would do so for elderly guests.

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