Post # 16
MrsPiggles: I will forever be amazed by those who think that adding ANYONE to a wedding invitation is okay. Who raised you and was it in a barn? That just goes above and beyond what I find acceptable behavior. I couldn’t imagine being as tactless as that. Adding children, however, I find to be more common, but no more excusable. I feel as if many parents feel as though it were a simple oversight you didn’t think to add their three children, or add them and figure, “Hey, he’s only three, what’s the harm?” as if you and your Fiance didn’t painstakingly go through the process of hammering out a guest list and didn’t put any thought into it.
The RSVP thing is absolutely frustrating. I know at my sister’s wedding I was put in charge of hunting down family members who did not return their RSVP before the cut off. It’s definitely irritating because, again, this is a time sensitive issue. This isn’t a backyard bbq that you “might” attend. I find that the RSVP is always going to be one of the more stressful issues with wedding planning. Someone once told me to assume half of those you invite will just not respond.
Post # 17
Wait – can we talk about the fact that you invited 530 people to your wedding? How does that work? I’m amazing (and kinda impressed)! Can I ask – how much do you expect to pay per person for food? In the NY/NJ area you can’t really find any venue for less than $100/pp, so a 500 people wedding would be $50,000 in food alone, minimum!
Post # 18
I have my RSVP date a month from today, and our wedding is a month after that. I figured I’d run into this as well (and already am with my shower/bachelorette party according to my sister). Then, it gives me about 2 weeks before the actual date that I need to give the numbers to the venue to check with everyone who we haven’t received an RSVP from.
I specifically put a number on each RSVP (as in attending), as well as only put WHO was invited on the actual address line. I still had a friend ask if their kid was invited, since they saw we had a children’s meal option, but yet only put “2” as the reserved seats. This was also the same person fwho got upset if ANYONE dared to bring someone NOT invited to their wedding… so that made me laugh a little bit. Sure, you can bring your kid – but then one of you can’t come. It says 2… not 3.
We only invited kids who we were related too. Most of our friends with kids will be happy to leave them at home!
Post # 19
baileyjosephine: We actually don’t have a website. It isn’t a popular thing to do with his side (he’s middle eastern), we also didn’t send save the dates so nobody would’ve known about the site anyway…. this is the only way to track everyone down…..by phone. :-/
babycuddlebee: Oh girl we did that!!! Every RSVP had the number of guests written on it and their response would be ____ of 2 or 3 or whatever number we put down. That won’t stop them…..
Post # 20
If today was the date you actually put on the RSVP, I’d give it a few more days. People always wait until the last minute to mail them…so annoying.
Post # 21
JrzyGurl: Haha yeah it is a huge wedding….. my side only has 60 guests including my parents lol. The rest is all his family, friends and people you HAVE to invite otherwise they get mad (yeah that’s what we are dealing with…..). The food is included with the venue so we’ll be paying around 40k for it. These venues are meant for such large parties so they know what to do as far as food and seating goes.
I figured you guys would find this amusing. This is actually bigger than our names. Our friends tried to do the fancy “Adult only reception” but NOBODY understood what that meant, so they had 30 or 40 uninvited kids running around.
With this on the invitation, be honest Bees……would you even dare to ask?
Last night we got another 5 or 6 verbal rsvps, but for some reason those make me nervous. I feel like they’ll forget.
Good luck to the ones that haven’t go e through this yet. It is a beeotch. Lol
Post # 22
Westwood: Yeah thankfully we have an extra 10 days before we need the final number. I’m hoping we get most of them before then. But like I mentioned above, we were still missing 145 of them as of yesterday… anyway, we’ll see what happens.
Thank god for free mobile to mobile calling, I have the feeling it is going to come in handy lol
Post # 23
Honestly, it sounds like the people you’ve invited have no etiquette skills at all, or even any basic common sense. You shouldn’t need to write “adults only” or “no children” – it kind of makes me cringe. Invitations are addressed to those who are invited – no more, no less.
There’s nothing confusing about this – if people RSVP for people who weren’t invited, you call them and tell them that you can’t accommdate their request, and you hope they’re still able to come.
Post # 24
- Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB
Listen, I KNOW YOUR PAIN!!!!! I am the bride who had the 12 RSVP! And then they had the nerve to tell me some of the people were babies, mis behaved at that! But enough about me.
The RSVP process is hard. I don’t have any words of encouragement or advice, cuz i am going through this myself. I just wanted to you know. you are not alone.
Post # 25
- Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB
OMGMrsW2B: HAHAHA!!! IT’S STILL GOING ON TOO!!!!
Post # 26
MrsPiggles: We didn’t give an RSVP date as we didn’t need an exact number except for seating arrangements. We expected to have to call people about their RSVPs and didn’t mind, except in the case of one family.
There was a girl in our church who makes amazing, tasty, beautiful cakes. We wanted her to do ours and were talking with her about prices etc. Since she was young and lived with her family, we gave them an invitation as a courtesy, also inviting all 5 of their children. The next week when we got to church, we found out that this girl had run away to join some odd group. We didn’t want to be rude and uninvite her family, so we waited until a few weeks before the wedding and asked them if they were coming.
They didn’t know.
Mother-In-Law asked them a week later. Same answer.
By the night before the wedding we still hadn’t heard from them, so I took them off the seating chart and made our dance floor a little bigger (they were almost a whole table!). Our venue was literally in the middle of nowhere, with no internet or cell service.
They never showed up, and the day after the wedding I checked my emails, only to find one from the mother of this family. Less than 12 hours before the wedding she had finally gotten around to RSVPing!!!
With that said, I hope that you are able to sort out your RSVP situation quickly and easily!
Post # 27
RSVPs exist for a reason! Unfortunately, I’m already planning on spending September 5th calling those who did not respond (September 4th is our deadline). I’ll never understand what the difficulty is when a prepostaged self-addressed envelope is included. Thankfully we only have 23 rsvp’s to hunt down.
We both can’t stand being around kids (no offense to those that have them), so we put “Respectfully we cannot honor requests for children or additional guests”. Just to make certain, I will be contacting those with children to make sure they understand that we’re having an adults only affair.
Post # 28
MrsPiggles: oh what a bummer! and you have so many calls to make too! hope you hear back from everyone soon.
Post # 29
MrsPiggles: I hear you, we are still 2 weeks out from our RSVP deadline but at this point I only have confirmed 20 adults coming. So now on top of my bazillion other wedding panic-moments I can now add “nobody is going to come” thoughts into that mix.
Post # 30
oneofthesethings: It isn’t about lack of etiquette or common sense, this is a completely different culture I’m dealing with. As a matter of fact, they go to more formal and black tie events than all of us combined, they just don’t understand the concept of RSVPs.
absolutely_tati: I’d give anything to see your face when you opened that RSVP with 12 add ons in it. How did you handle it? What did you say?????