(Closed) RSVP’s are making me really sad

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

You enjoy the ones who can make it and have a wonderful day. It sucks when people can’t make it, but it is not a reflection of how they feel about you. Even if they aren’t there your family still loves and supports you.

Post # 4
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@ieatunicorns:  Couldn’t have said it any better

Post # 5
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Plus, no matter who can or can’t make it – it’s still your wedding day! Focus in on that.

Post # 6
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

That’s tough…… we’re not having a destination wedding and so far we’ve received about half of our responses back.  Yesterday we received our first “no” and it did kind of hurt.  Although, I am not sure why…. it was some cousin of my mom’s who she was only inviting because he invited her to his son’s wedding.  They aren’t close, they don’t even talk – she had to call her sister to find out his address, etc.  But it still hurts when someone writes that no, they will not attend your wedding.  (I’ve met this guy like twice in my entire life and I pretty much knew he would NOT be coming).  It must be hard getting so many nos.  A good friend of mine planned a destination wedding – in Jamaica – and they must have invited over 100 people.  About 20 went.  So I think that’s just the way it goes when people have to travel. 

Post # 8
2756 posts
Sugar bee

That’s my biggest fear. We’re now planning our wedding in FI’s hometown… great for his family, but pretty much awful for 80% of the guests who are very much Out of Town. I’m ecstatic about our venue, but terrified nobody will be able to make the trip (esp. my friends/family from Ohio … Massachusetts is a HIKE from there!)

But it is what it is. My hope is enough will come so that it’s a fun, happy event. And I suppose if fewer people can make it, it’ll just mean more time for us to socialize with those who do (:

I guess for your situation… just try and make the most of it with those who can make it. I’m sure those who can’t do feel sad about it, and who knows? You might get a nice card or gift from them to make up for it! Not that gifts/cards are better than the person, but it’s a sweet consolation.

Post # 9
43 posts
  • Wedding: March 2013

We thought about a destination wedding but were concerned people would not be able to attend so we will just have a great honeymoon and a medium size local wedding.

Post # 10
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Many of our “no” RSVPs made me sad, but in the end, they didn’t really affect the joy of my wedding day at all. Honestly, you are so surrounded by love and happiness on your wedding day. And you’re so busy — you barely get to spend enough time with your new husband, wedding party, and parents as it is. I don’t mean this to sound horrible, but on the day of, you won’t notice the absences…only the happiness of those who are there to celebrate with you!

Post # 11
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

We chose a Destination Wedding because our families were from 2 different parts of the country.  The people who mattered came and some surprised us…mostly DH’s extended family.  None of his friends came….he’s still hurt by it.  Won’t even talk to them even though they’ve started calling us now.  Some of his family told us if we had the wedding in his hometown more people would have come.  Some suggested 2 receptions but we didn’t see the point…otherwise none of his family would have gone to the wedding.  

At least you have your RSVPs.  We only got back 1/3 of them but I figured NOBODY would book a flight/hotel w/o telling us they were coming.  

FWIW I love to look at our wedding pics and see our “nearest and dearest”….it was definitely a coming together of 2 families!

Post # 12
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Awww, don’t feel too hurt. We live in Texas, nowhere near our families, and we’re planning the wedding for here (I didn’t want to try to plan a wedding 1000+ miles away). I’ve invited 117 people, and I think we’re really only going to have 80-90 at the very very most (and perhaps not even that many). Besides, that’s a little more money you can spend on your honeymoon! 😉

Post # 13
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Well, if it makes you feel any better, we have 86 Yes’s, and 130 No’s.

Post # 14
3697 posts
Sugar bee

We’re in a similar situation – both of us are from out-of-state, met here, and decided to hold the wedding here because it was more fair to make everybody travel than only one side, and because it allowed us to have more control over decisions, etc.The good and bad thing is that we know a lot of people are going to have to decline. That keeps our costs down a bit, but it also means that people we wish could be there will not be able to. We know, though, that they will be there in spirit, and we’re just going to concentrate on enjoying a smallish wedding with the people who are able to make it. It’s always better to focus on what you have and what you can do, than on what you don’t have and can’t do.

Post # 15
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m sorry but I still think you will have a wonderful day! I too am having a small wedding (40 guests) and haven’t recieved a no yet but I’ve only gotten 5 back so far so it will probably still happen. It will probably sting but can’t expect everyone you invite to come.

Post # 16
478 posts
Helper bee

@MissCalifornia:  Same here.  We will get married in the city he’s from, and the city we met and dated in.  I moved away for work and he followed me.  But it’s a 3 1/2 hour flight for most of my family.  So I know a lot of people won’t be able to make it, and I’m a little sad about it, too. 🙁

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