(Closed) RSVP’s are out of hand

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Sit down and explain it to them politely that you are on the budget and would like them to understand that the invitation is not an extended invitation but is only meant for so and so. People just might be a little confused, but you do need to talk to them fast.

Post # 4
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would come up with a “rule” and then tell people the same thing.   We luckily didn’t have that issue, but I would panic if that started happening because of cost and venue size.

Post # 5
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

“I’m sorry that won’t be possible”  Just keep repeating it ad nauseum. 

Them: I want to bring my mailman, sister, and next door neighbour.

You: I’m sorry that won’t be possible

Them: But Jim the mailman is so nice, and I can’t go to a wedding without Fanny and Fritz

You: I’m sorry that won’t be possible

Them: But Fritz keeps talking about how much he wants to see you get married, and Fanny loves weddings

You: I’m sorry that won’t be possible

Them:  How can you say that?  I want to bring them as my dates

You: I’m sorry that won’t be possible.

 

There really is no argument to have.  They can continue to insist, but you ultimately control the guest list.  I don’t think you should give them any excuse or reason, because unreasonable people (and anyone who insists upon bringing 2-3 other, uninvited guests is unreasonable) will find a way around your rule/excuse.

You say it’s budget, they offer to pay for them.  You say space, they say they will sit off to the side not at a table.    So just tell them it’s not possible.  If they continue to insist after you’ve told them it’s not possible several times, you disengage from the conversation.

“I’m sorry I’ve already said it won’t be possible, gotta go, the cat’s on fire.  Bye.” Then hang up the phone, pack up and leave, get out of there.

Post # 7
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@andielovesj: lmao… “the cat’s on fire” LOOOVE it!!!!!  Also completely agree with what you said!  (even if I’m still snickering at the cat on fire…)

@memphisbelle:  Sorry you’ve gotta deal with this.  Just stand firm and you should be fine. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

There is one uncle in my FI’s family that has done this to a few of the cousins:

a. doesn’t RSVP, but you’re supposed to KNOW he’s going to be there, he’s family, DUH! and,

b. Brings his whole fricken family. Wife, two babies and two teens from a previous marriage.

I specifically made his invite special. It might have been rude, but our evening is for adults only, and I will NOT have an extra 4 children show up unexpected.

So I wrote on his insert: While we do love children, this will be an event for adults only.

I really hope he gets the message…. I’m sorry you’re going through this! It is SO frustrating!

Post # 10
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Tell them that although you would love everyone to be able to attend, you have reached capacity of your room, and therefore only people on the invitations can be in attnedance.

Post # 11
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@memphisbelle: arg! so frustrating! Even when you spell it out for them (like on the website) they still question you!

I had a cousin ask that since her baby would be too young to leave at that time, could she bring him. I can’t let you bring your infant (who I know won’t cost anything) and not allow every other cousin to bring their infants as well! and where do I draw the line?! “Oh no, we’re only allowing babies that are freshly out of the womb to attend”. LOL???

Or hey, you only wrote ONE name on the invitation, no one else and no “guest” or “plus one” indication. But I’m going to RSVP for me and my girlfriend who you didn’t even know about, and have never met!

ETA: wow, I got so caught up venting I forgot my point: The REASON I specifically explained everything on the website, was so that you wouldn’t ask me if you could bring your kids or not. That was very much so I wouldn’t have to deal with being put on the spot.

Post # 12
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i had a guest ask to bring her 6 week old baby – i couldnt really say no even though i didnt want screeming children/babies at the wedding 🙁

Post # 13
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@memphisbelle:  Did you address the invitations to the specific people you invited? Ex:  Mr & Mrs. Snowball .. if you did and it doesn’t include anyone elses name I would just say unfortunately you have limited seating and are unable to extend the invite further than the 2 listed on the invitation.

The topic ‘RSVP’s are out of hand’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors