(Closed) RSVPs coming back for guests I’m pretty sure weren’t invited

posted 8 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

OH NO!!!! You probably have to sit down and talk with them and let them know if the list grows you will have to put more money down for the food!

I am glad you mention this so I know that I need to do my own invitations. If I let my mom do them she might just throw more people on to the list!

Post # 4
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010 - Ocean View Villas/Jasmine Seafood Restaurant

that does sound odd.  You definitely need to talk with them.  Were their extra invitations they used?  Or did they start dropping people in order to add these new ones?

Post # 5
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

Yikes! That’s tough! Can you cross reference lists? How many invites did you order vs how many you have left, etc? It might help to see how many people are on the list, how many invites went out, etc?

Post # 6
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oh boy, that is stressful!  And bizarre.  But I assume these people just somehow flew under the radar on your end.  If you have a large guest list, its easy to do.  Unfortunately,  I really don’t see anything you can do.  The damage is done since the invites are out.  The one thing you can do is the same thing I’m doing… hope not everyone can show up! 

Post # 7
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

“I know she wouldn’t have just written out invitations to people that weren’t on the list without saying something first!”

This is clearly exactly what she did. There’s no way they could have received an invitation to RSVP with if she didn’t send them one. At this point, the damage is done, though, cause you can’t very well go back to them and say, sorry actually you weren’t supposed to get an invitation, you’re not invited. That’s a crappy situation, though. Your Future Mother-In-Law was way out of line there.

ETA: This is exactly why I’m doing the invitations myself – no surprises!

Post # 8
Member
2779 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Hmm, I second HotWings. Definitely talk to them. It could be as simple as your Future Mother-In-Law thought they were invited and wrote them invites and didn’t send invites to 2 other people by accident. 

Post # 9
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

That is pretty odd and bizarre. Hmmmm. If it were just one or something like that – okay, easy to see how it could have been an isolated incident where Future Mother-In-Law wrote out one and forgot to mention it to you or add it to a list – but if there is more than one like that – something is going on and everyone should probably sit down with all versions of everyone’s list and go through just to make sure all the bases are covered. How strange! Hope you get it all sorted out!!

Post # 11
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

How are these family members related? If they’re the adult children of an Aunt or Uncle perhaps that’s how they got the RSVP – the parents couldn’t make it but passed it to their child who could come.

On our list we have several college-aged (20-22) children and we are just sending invites to their parents since that’s where they will be in the summer. We might get back a few RSVPs with cousins we forgot to include who are in this situation.

Post # 12
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow – I elected to put the invitees names directly on the RSVP cards to help avoid numerous issues (RSVP’ing for more than who was invited, children, etc.) and I guess it will help avoid this really strange situation too. They can’t get an invite/RSVP card without them being in my word doc!

Post # 13
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would definitely have a family meeting with both sides of the family and figure out where these extra invites/RSVPs are coming from and do a quick review of the master guest list! Good luck to you!

Post # 14
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

It’s fishy, for sure.  Don’t be afraid of your Future Mother-In-Law:-)  No fear, dear.  Innocently say, “You know, I don’t remember so-and-so being on the list.  Can I see your invitation address book?”  She’ll fess up if guilty, at which point you can say… something like…. um, well mom, got some extra money lying around????  Just kidding… but, don’t let yourself be afraid of the lady – it was probably an honest error, but if she did try to get one by on you, let her know (wink, wink) you caught her at it.  And if it’s more than this couple, I would seriously start asking for donations.

Post # 15
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Is it possible you are looking at the wrong version (electronically) I assume? If Future Mother-In-Law has her own version, could you ask for either a photocopy or electronic copy? Just tell them you think somehow your file got messed up and you can’t properly track the invitations without the correct list.

Post # 16
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Wow that’s really weird…I agree with FMILady, I (or make Fiance do it) would call her and just ask.  She may have just forgotten to tell you about it.

The topic ‘RSVPs coming back for guests I’m pretty sure weren’t invited’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors