(Closed) RSVPs: how to say “no!”

posted 11 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Most people don’t automatically assume that they can bring someone over the guests that you mentioned on the invitations.  I don’t think that you are going to have this problem much.

Post # 4
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I had my wedding planner or my Mom deal with it for me.  It saved me a lot of unwanted confrontation.  And it only happened with two people, so no biggie. 🙂

Post # 6
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I have a feeling this may happen with both of our families so on our RSVP cards we are putting “we have reserved X seats in your honor.” It also keeps people from adding kids, etc. that you didn’t invite. Since your invites/RSVPs have already gone out, I’d make it clear to mom and Future Mother-In-Law about capacity and prepare them that you may have to say no to people who haven’t already gotten an invite.


Post # 7
2680 posts
Sugar bee

We did what BellaLuna did and had a ___ out of __X__ people will be attending.  Thankfully we didnt have people just assume they could bring someone or invite someone else but if we did either I wouldve said something or had my parents/his parents say no unless we were able to add them later.

Post # 8
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think you handled the situation with your friend very well and she should definitely understand! (I have a friend that wanted to invite extras and basically TOLD me that they were coming and deal with it!). I think you can handle each case if it does come up the same way. Tell them what you said to your friend and that you will let them know if they can bring their additional guests.

Post # 9
2716 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

So it isn’t rude to put ___ out of X guests are invited? Our Bridesmaid or Best Man & his wife were planning a wedding & were inviting very few people, and wanted to write that on there so they didn’t assume the entire family was invited (like just the aunt & uncle, not cousins were invited) but he thought that was rude to put on—but he does have a weird perspective on many things.

Post # 10
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We had a few people who we thought might bring their kids if we didn’t make it clear so we had our calligrapher make some belly bands for those invites that included just the first names of the invited (we didn’t have inner envelopes).  We didn’t have any instances of extra guests but if we did I was going to have the Moms deal with it if they were relatives.

Post # 11
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

We also used “we have reserved ____ seats in your honor”


Basically so people wouldn’t bring their kids.

Post # 12
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I was informed by my Future Mother-In-Law that stating how many seats were reserved would be perceived to be rude to her family, so I left it off. It was annoying, especially since she told me that her uncle- who apparently just HAD to come or her family would be very offended- would probably assume that he could bring his girlfriend’s kids- all six of them. I politely told her that we would not have room for them, which is exactly why I wanted to specify the number of people in the first place!! She saw my point, thankfully, and said she would take care of it.

Anyway, that’s my rant for the day. 🙂

I ended up writing “__ number of guests will be attending” so that they at least get the idea that they have to inform me of exactly how many people will be coming.

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