Post # 1
We got our invitations in the mail last week and the RSVPs have slooowly begun to come in! We gave our guests two options: a physical RSVP card with postage included and a place on our wedding website where they can RSVP online.
Here’s my worry: We invited about 30 more people than our venue will accomodate. I realize this is pretty common, since they say only 65-80% will say yes, but we have a very small chapel and if 80% come we will be at capacity.
Yesterday one of my close friend’s RSVP arrived and she added a note saying “and mom will come too, if that’s ok!” I love her mom and would be fine with her coming, but I’m just not sure if there will be room for her! I ended up shooting her an e-mail saying I got her RSVP and would LOVE to see her mom there, but since our venue is so small I am going to have to let her know once we have more responses and know whether or not there will even be space. Since we are close I don’t think this will offend her.
But how do you say “no” to someone if you DON’T know them very well? For example, friends of my parents, or random relatives? How did/do you ladies deal with this??
Post # 3
Most people don’t automatically assume that they can bring someone over the guests that you mentioned on the invitations. I don’t think that you are going to have this problem much.
Post # 4
I had my wedding planner or my Mom deal with it for me. It saved me a lot of unwanted confrontation. And it only happened with two people, so no biggie. 🙂
Post # 5
I hope not– but I have heard horror stories from people here on the boards!
Post # 6
I have a feeling this may happen with both of our families so on our RSVP cards we are putting “we have reserved X seats in your honor.” It also keeps people from adding kids, etc. that you didn’t invite. Since your invites/RSVPs have already gone out, I’d make it clear to mom and Future Mother-In-Law about capacity and prepare them that you may have to say no to people who haven’t already gotten an invite.
Post # 7
We did what BellaLuna did and had a ___ out of __X__ people will be attending. Thankfully we didnt have people just assume they could bring someone or invite someone else but if we did either I wouldve said something or had my parents/his parents say no unless we were able to add them later.
Post # 8
I think you handled the situation with your friend very well and she should definitely understand! (I have a friend that wanted to invite extras and basically TOLD me that they were coming and deal with it!). I think you can handle each case if it does come up the same way. Tell them what you said to your friend and that you will let them know if they can bring their additional guests.
Post # 9
So it isn’t rude to put ___ out of X guests are invited? Our Bridesmaid or Best Man & his wife were planning a wedding & were inviting very few people, and wanted to write that on there so they didn’t assume the entire family was invited (like just the aunt & uncle, not cousins were invited) but he thought that was rude to put on—but he does have a weird perspective on many things.
Post # 10
We had a few people who we thought might bring their kids if we didn’t make it clear so we had our calligrapher make some belly bands for those invites that included just the first names of the invited (we didn’t have inner envelopes). We didn’t have any instances of extra guests but if we did I was going to have the Moms deal with it if they were relatives.
Post # 11
We also used “we have reserved ____ seats in your honor”
Basically so people wouldn’t bring their kids.
Post # 12
I was informed by my Future Mother-In-Law that stating how many seats were reserved would be perceived to be rude to her family, so I left it off. It was annoying, especially since she told me that her uncle- who apparently just HAD to come or her family would be very offended- would probably assume that he could bring his girlfriend’s kids- all six of them. I politely told her that we would not have room for them, which is exactly why I wanted to specify the number of people in the first place!! She saw my point, thankfully, and said she would take care of it.
Anyway, that’s my rant for the day. 🙂
I ended up writing “__ number of guests will be attending” so that they at least get the idea that they have to inform me of exactly how many people will be coming.