Post # 1
We sent out invites in March, asked for the RSVPs to be in by April 20th, by April 20th we still had over half out there.
Meanwhile, the people who DID rsvp added on +1’s like crazy. We gave plus ones to anyone who was in a relationship, engaged, married. Some people added their adult children, some added their bff’s, some added “+guest” on the name line. Couldn’t even tell is WHO they’re bringing.
We happened to invite an old friend and his wife who we’re not close to any more BUT because he received the save the date the year before, we had to send him an invite. Since then we have found out that no one gets along with him any more, and his wife has left him. He did not RSVP of course, so I facebooked him. It took him 4 days to respond, and to tell me “Mark me down for 2”. FINE. WHATEVER at this point, I’m over this RSVP stuff, so I mark him down for 2, BUT I kindly ask for his guests name for our seating and dinner. He tells me “Well I don’t know who I’m bringing yet. I have so many options.”
Today he facebooks me and tells me “put down my ex’s name, whoever I decide to bring will understand”
I’m totally regretting sending him an invite 🙁 and I have no idea where I’m going to seat him with his “guest”.
This is all so frustrating!! Why does he have to drag this on like this?
Is there a polite way to now say “hey dude, sorry you’re stressing me out way too much, can you just not come?” :-/ I thought I was being nice by allowing the substitue guest, but after finding out that it may be a random really irks me. PLUS the fact that no one can get along with the man anymore, I can clearly see why.
Post # 3
So sorry you’re going though this. Maybe for the seating place cards(?) having one for the main invitee and for the “+1” a card that states “Guest of “John Doe””. He may not be the only one who’s not sure who they’re brining.
Post # 4
@laneylaney: haha my friend AND my dad’s friend are doing the same thing. Neither one of them know if they’re bringing someone or who that someone will be.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2014 - Restaurant
This is like my worst nightmere for when we send out the invitations. I can’t really tell you what to do because I am not in that position yet, but I think it is extremely rude for people to add on guests. I would speak up (in a polite way) and tell them the extras are NOT invited, expecially people you don’t know! It’s a hard situation though…
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
Anyone who asked me for a us one, I said “I’m sorry but the space is limited, so we can’t accommodate extra guests.”
Post # 7
haha, getting rsvps back kinda sucked we sent 160 and ended up with 103 guests which is an amount i woulda been happy with……..except for the fact that we have to pay for 125 regardless b/c that’s the venue’s minimum
Post # 8
As for plus ones you can state “the room only holds ____ and we currently do not have a place for your SO. However, if room does become available after we receive our RSVP’s, we will contact you and we will gladly extend the invite for your SO”.
This is what I plan on doing…..
Post # 9
@laneylaney: this is precisely why I filled in the number on our RSVPs where it states “__ number of guests attending.” I am not accepting any add ons under any circumstances.
Post # 10
I found this and think you would like to read it to help you with this whole situation. I wish I found this BEFORE I went through the whole RSVP process!
Post # 11
That’s why I did the “We have reserved X seats in your honor” thing. We have fire codes to think of, because our reception room is on the smaller side. We tried really hard to account for everyone to have someone to travel with, and kids and who might tell who about the wedding and everything, so we haven’t had any problems, but I think it’s helpful to people!
I’m so sorry you’re having this trouble 🙁
Post # 12
Thank you all! It’s nice to feel the love in this situation! 🙂
We planned all along to do the “we have ___ seats” thing, BUT when it came time to print, I backed out. I already had a thing about no kids on the invites, I didn’t want to SUPER offend anyone. Which people were already with the no kids thing.
This guy picked someone, and has given me her name. I just find it SO rude that I had to track it down and deal with the cockyness. We have two more “+ guest” rsvps to find those guest names as well.
As for saying the room only holds so many, that’s a great idea, but I quickly said it was alright before I thought it through, I know.. way to go me. I’m so ready for this wedding to happen, and just be married already. A year and a half of planning and dealing with all of this is way too much! 🙂