(Closed) Rude Bridesmaid behaviour: from MOH

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
47436 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Why would you want to burden your sister with this?An immature bridesmaid either forgot or was too lazy to send a recipe, was embarassed, and tried to deflect responsibility onto someone else.

It’s done, over, let it be.

Post # 4
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would leave the bride out of it since it doesn’t really involve her.  It all seems a bit trivial and not worth adding extra stress on your sister.

Post # 5
1139 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Don’t tell your sister I would just add unnecessary stress that she just does not need, and there’s nothing to be done about it anyway. As far as the wedding goes just ask your sister if that bridesmaid has all the details and then limit your conversation with her. Honestly just let her blatant rudeness go, don’t let her spoil things for you or your sister. She sounds like a peach lol!

Post # 6
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Please don’t give your sister any additional stress. Yes, Shelley is rude, but for your sister’s sake, just suck it up at the RD/day of wedding. Or you take Shelley aside if she’s bitchy to you- like MrsWBS said, this doesn’t seem to involve her behavior with your sister.

Post # 7
1575 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yes Shelly is snarky but I agree, no need to worry the bride.

Post # 8
1733 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Shelley sounds like a bitch. I’d keep tabs on the situation though and not say anything to your sister yet. If her behavior ramps up closer to the time, I would talk to the other bridesmaids about how to handle her. Unless your sister mentions it to you or she does something REALLY insane, hopefully you all can get through with a minimum of drama.

Post # 9
2910 posts
Sugar bee

In an effort to make your sister’s experience the least stressful, I would swallow down everything I was feeling about the Out of Town bridesmaid and her shitty attitude. It doesn’t matter what her problem is — maybe she doesn’t like you, or she’s jealous that your sister is getting married, or she’s just a nasty person. I would focus on getting through whatever wedding related festivities by 1. avoiding her as much as possible without being rude and 2. plastering on a big, fake smile when you have to interact with her. Pretend you don’t hear her snotty remarks. And tell yourself that after the wedding is over, you NEVER have to keep your mouth shut about anything she says or does again.

Post # 10
4322 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Agree, keep your sister out of the loop, at least until after the wedding is over and done with. As an experienced bride, I can tell you that many people, the least of whom you would expect, begin going nuts around wedding time, and for various reasons. Some are jealous. Some nervous, some feel left out, others need attention. When this confluence of events is swirling around your head, it’s a very demoralizing thing, because dammit, you’re just trying to plan an event where people can come and celebrate your union, and go home! 

Telling your sister would only add extra worry upon her, when she’s already juggling the whole of planning, most likely by herself. Let’s be honest: men don’t pitch in the way women do when it comes to weddings (generally, anyway) If she isn’t going nuts by now, just wait. It’ll happen. 

Tell her after the fact if you feel it’s important for her to know at any point in time, but not now. I want to commend you though for taking the time and consideration to even think about your sister’s feelings, and to host an event for her. I bet she’ll love that recipe book forever. Thanks for your hard work, on your sister’s behalf. Laughing

Post # 12
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Please don’t tell your sister about it.

I was in a similar situation recently – an issue between my (otherwise awesome) bridesmaids. One of whom felt the need to tell me. I thought: “Great, what the hell am I supposed to do with that? Now I just feel bad.” I went home and cried, thinking that, if it was me, I would suck it up and not tell the bride. I was upset about the issue itself as I couldn’t do anything about it – telling me changed nothing, it just made me feel bad – and I was upset that she hadn’t just dealt with it without involving me.

Regarding the recipe, t’s her silly fault for not reading the invite properly. But otherwise, maybe she’s jealous, maybe she expected to be Maid/Matron of Honor, maybe she feels left out, it might be worth considering if you could include her more. I think there is some good advice on this thread, but please, don’t let the bride know.

Post # 13
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with PPs, do not tell your sister.  She has enough to worry about.

I’m a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding, and one of the other ladies in the Bridal Party accidentally replied all in an email and said something very hurtful about me.  Someone told the bride, who felt the need to try to get in between me and the bridesmaid, explain things away, and diffuse the situation.  She’s a solver, that was fine, but I feel badly that she was brough into the middle of it.

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