Post # 1
A girl i work with, who has been engaged for around 2 years herself, keeps making me feel bad about my ring and about my wedding. We are only planning a small wedding and to be quite honest peoples opinions dont usually get to me especially when its about something i have already made my mind up about but this girl has ALWAYS gotten to me.
Bit of background, i am 24 and she is 22. We have worked together for 5 years, we were friends at first but then i got pregnant with my son and she told me i was going to be a terrible mother. She really upset me and we have not been friends since until recently when we started talking again.
She asked to see my ring so i of course showed it off as i am very proud of it, i chose it myself and i love it so much but her first comment was ‘oh so its cheap then?’ (it wasn’t too expensive but only because it was on sale and even if it was cheap its such a rude comment!). She then told me that they cant be real diamonds because you cant set diamonds into silver (not sure how true that is but it isnt silver it is white gold and again if it were silver why would it matter) she told me that because we are having a cheap wedding my ring must be so cheap and it isnt as nice as hers because mine isnt a big diamond like hers (hers is a 0.5ct diamond and is her style and when she showed it so me i said it was lovely because it is but i didnt want a diamond).
Anyway to cut a long story short she has made me feel terrible, she comments on every aspect of my life but this really got to me and im not sure why but i never know what to say in these situations. How would you handle it?
Post # 3
Do you HAVE to interact with her at work? I’d just put as much distance between her and myself as possible. If you do have to interact, I’d keep it strictly work topics. If she asks something about the wedding or your personal life, just say “Oh, we haven’t decided yet” or “I’m not sure” or something very non-specific. Then change the topic to something work related OR just be silent if that is acceptable.
Don’t say anything. That’s the most powerful weapon you have.
Post # 4
if you find she is harrassing you, go to HR. your workplace should be a safe environment.
Post # 5
I’d trip her when she walked by 🙂 That’s how I’d handle that. Just ignore her, act as though she doesn’t exist.
Post # 6
What a b*tch!! I agree with PP, do you have to interact with her? Avoid her as much as possible! She sounds awful! Although I don’t know what the ages of you two have anything to do with. Is she in your department, can you make a complaint to the manager?
Post # 7
i agree with all the other posters. try to Ignore her as much as possible and only chat to her when you have to eg only about work things. if she ever asks you anything personal just say “i’d rather not discuss that thank you” and leave it at that.
just ignore her hun and im sure she will get the message that her comments are not welcome.
Post # 8
@bouncybee: Stop hanging out with this girl!
Post # 9
Wow. Who makes comments like that? She is definitely showing her class, or lack thereof.
Post # 10
I would not talk to her, and tell her quite plainly that she’s incredibly rude. You don’t have to be friends with your co workers.
Post # 11
” I guess some people need validation of their relationship with money..” thats what id say ahah
Post # 12
@bouncybee: First off, I am so sorry she’s making you feel bad about your ring. If you love it, that is all that matters. Next time she says something about it, just reply “well, I absolutely LOVE it. And my Fiance.” And then walk away.
I don’t think this is something HR is going to handle. Not to be rude, but this is a rather petty issue that likely pales in comparison to other things they deal with. So hold your chin up, and wear the heck out of that ring!
You don’t need to reply to her when she makes rude comments, by the way, you can simply smile and walk away, or explain that you have work to do. She’s just trying to make herself feel better by putting you (and your ring) down. How childish!
Post # 13
That is awful! I can’t believe she would say those things to you! Going along with the PP’s, just ignore her comments. Everyone has their own idea of what an engagement ring and wedding should be, but it’s rather tacky to say that someone’s ideal wedding is more valid than someone else’s. Just remember that every engagement ring, no matter the cost, means the same thing – that your SO wants to spend their life together with you.
Post # 14
We have to talk at work (we work in a fast food restaurant and we are both cashiers so communication is key) I never hang out with her outside of work and we only ever talk about non work related stuff when were on a break together or after work when were changing out of work clothes. I would never be near this person by choice and i never ask for her opinion i cant stand her. Im not sure why she thinks she is superior to me she tries to tell me what to do alot of the time but i mainly ignore her which is rude on my part i am aware but she knows my feelings towards her after the upset she has caused in my life.
My HR dept at work do not care for ‘petty comments’ relating to another collegue no matter how offensive they are towards somebody it is a terrible company to work for and i am trying to leave but i would love to say something to this girl to show her that i dont give a crap about what she thinks but without sounding too petty about it. Ugh she is so frustrating. sorry for my moaning ladies i just dont know why people would say such things. If she asks my opinion on something i say something nice because its how i was brought up, clearly some people have no manners.
here is a pic of my ring just because i like showing it off ^_^
Post # 15
i think you should tell her exactly how u feel the next time she makes a rude remark. stand up for yourself!
Post # 16
That’s a gorgeous ring and to me its way prettier then a 0.5ct diamond anyday and I second pp’s stand up for yourself to her.