(Closed) Rude comments =/

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 32
Member
3338 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would evenly look her right in the eyes and say “I don’t care what you think about my ring or my wedding, so stop talking about it.”

Post # 33
Member
2265 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@bouncybee:  This is a silly, shallow little girl with no manners and certainly no class and you really need to just stop speaking to her.  The second she made the comment about your ring being cheap you should have withdrew your hand, walked away and cut her off completely.  What she said to you was unspeakably rude and insulting.  You shouldn’t tolerate that.

Think how miserable she must be when she meets all the women who have much larger rings than she does?  Or who are having more expensive weddings?  She deals with those insecurities by seeking out women who have less expensive things than she does and craps on them so she can feel like she won some silly competition no one but her is competing in.  What she thinks she’s won exactly is anyone’s guess but one things for sure – if she sees everything as a competition – she’s losing big time.

You chose your ring and your wedding because you prioritized what was important to you – not because you were trying to show anyone else up.  Think how really screwed up that kind of thinking is.  How self-defeating.  And don’t let it bother you anymore.

When I was in my twenties, I had a frenemy like that.  She was always trying to make it seem like I was some loser not doing as well as she was.  I remember the day she found out my husband and I had a nice chunk of savings in the bank.  She was absolutely beside herself.  You see, she and her husband spent every dime they had (and lots they didn’t with credit cards) trying to impress people and even then, the most they could manage was a two level townhouse and a used sports car.  We had a condo and a compact car and money in the bank because we weren’t obsessed with trying to compete with everyone. 

Oh, did I mention they later divorced with a moutain of debt?

Post # 35
Member
7960 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@bouncybee:  i think your ring is beautiful.  don’t listen to that brat.  she sounds completely immature and insecure.

if she says your ring is cheap again just tell her, “i’m pretty sure my cheap ring will still last longer than your marriage“.

Post # 36
Member
1877 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Wow.  What a rude lady!  People like that should just be ignored.  Honestly, I’d kill her with kindness.  Just anything negative she says, say something postive back.

Post # 39
Member
2265 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@bouncybee:  Oh my gosh, is that the ring she called cheap?  You have GOT to be kidding me! LOL!  Sweetie, its gorgeous and it certainly doesn’t look inexpensive, let alone cheap! 

Post # 40
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@mypinkshoes:  +1. As bad as it sounds, someone who is that obsessed with turning something as beautiful and sentimental as an engagement/wedding into a pissing contest is probably going to end up making her SO very miserable.

Post # 41
Member
938 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@bouncybee:  Next time she says anything, say: Really?? With a sarcastic tone, and something like, well I guess nobody could be as perfect as you are, not that I would want to but hey, at least you’re happy right? 

Post # 42
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@bouncybee:  You need to call her out. The next time she says something rude look her right in the eye and sternly ask her if putting you down makes her feel better. Tell her that every time she says something rude it makes you wonder how she made it to 22 without picking up basic social etiquette skills. Then tell her she can keep her opinions about your choices to herself from now on. I hate mean girls like that! 

Post # 43
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I love that ring and think it’s beautiful ! just ignore her; It’s not about the ring or how much it cost it’s about the love and thought that goes into it !

Post # 44
Member
2529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@bouncybee:  That is a very pretty ring! She is super immature, and I know how it is to be in a work situation like that– I worked as a cashier in a country store for a while and a few of the other girls were SO bitchy and condescending. I finally resorted to making retorts that made it obvious that I already knew whatever piece of information they were blabbing at me about, or I would ignore them and become very involved in helping a customer or cleaning or something.

 

While you are still at this job, perhaps you can change your habits so you don’t have to eat lunch with her. Now that it’s spring, can you walk to a park or a safe vacant lot or a bench in front of some other business and eat lunch by yourself, outside? You could use the excuse that you are trying to fit a little more exercise into your day, if anyone asks. If you’re on lunch break, no one should be able to yell at you for going outside (unless the company is really screwed up). Also, are you actively looking for another job? It sounds too me like the best thing would be just get a different job!

 

While you are stuck working with her, though, just don’t engage with her when she is saying personal and rude things. Avoid her during lunch. If she says something rude about you, just don’t respond and be busy with something. Try not to act condescending back to her even if you want to, because that is a recipe for disaster in these kinds of situations. . . petty, dumb people like that will always be like “oh, so now you’re too good for me? You can’t push me around!” and will make things as unpleasant as they possibly can. UGH!

Post # 45
Member
2529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@KittyCatToe:  Ooh, I like this suggestion. Maybe try this one instead of my long-winded ideas!

Post # 46
Member
3380 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@bouncybee:  I’m really sorry you are going through that. Women can be VERY unkind, even in the workplace when you’d think they would be on their best behavior.  Your ring is LOVELY and, as you know, what matters is that YOU like it. I like when I see different engagement rings: we arent all the same, why should our rings be?

I’d love to give you advice to smack her in the mouth or say something ugly back, but I’m super shy and usually just ignore people like that until I go home and cry or post on the Bee about it :-/

…and feel free to let her know that .5ct isnt THAT big: my friend just got a 3ct solitaire and I dont see her acting like an arrogant brat.

 

 

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