Post # 1
I am sure this happens a lot, and want ideas on how to handle.
I am close with my extended family, going out to 3rd and 4th cousins. Well one family has 3 cousins and I am semi-close to two of them. I am friends with one on FB and she used to cut my hair, we would stop and say hi if we saw each other out and about. Pretty much the same with her brother, he comes to all of the family stuff and used to come into the restaurant where I worked. Here is the issue, they have a brother who I probably haven’t said more than 10 words to in the past 10 years. I would be inclined not to invite him, but also don’t want him to get wind that he wasn’t invited and feel left out.
My mom told me to ask my aunt and my aunt told me to ask my mom – so now I ask the bees! To invite or not to invite??
Post # 3
@emviamama: If you’re inviting their whole immediate family, you should invite them. We have the same situation with family friends: Fiance really likes the parents, and two of the siblings are super friendly, but the third is not my cup of tea. We’re inviting all of them because it would be rude not to.
Same with FI’s second cousins. He grew up with 2 of them and their sibling is about 10 years younger and he’s never really met her. We’re inviting their parents as well, so we are inviting the her, too.
I figure folks who we’ve invited because of obligation, but don’t don’t know us well and don’t want to come, won’t.
Post # 4
@emviamama: eh, I’d extend the invitation to him. There’s a chance he might not even go! But if you invite his siblings, you probably should invite him as well. That doesn’t mean you have to invite every single cousin, but since they’re a family, I’d rather be safe than sorry.
Post # 5
We aren’t having a sit down dinner, reception is very casual, so I am not worried about the extra people. I tend to agree – send him an invite and if he comes he comes, if not, oh well.
Post # 6
@emviamama: I can’t see him coming if he has the same feelings about you as you do about him, that you guys barely talk, and especially if he isn’t living at home. I’d invite him anyway since the rest of the family is being invited.