(Closed) Rude or Cute?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you put one of these at your wedding?

    Yes it cute and good idea

    No its rude to ask guest

    Maybe...

  • Post # 17
    Member
    7605 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    This makes me want to break out the T-word.

    Post # 18
    Member
    111 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    View original reply
    @Wonderstruck:  I think there’s a misunderstanding.  I was operating under the assumption that this would be the guests’ understanding that this is how you could provide the gift if you were to provide a monetary one, not as an after-the-show-drop-your-change deal that was sprung on the guests in addition to the normal gift routine.  I would find this appropriate if the guests were informed ahead of time that if they were to bring a gift, it would be appreciated as a contribution to the honeymoon.  Hence the jar as an alternative way of doing it, and keeping it subtle as you do with the issue of gifts in general by not drawing excessive attention to it (I would say the same over a cardbox, for example).

    So to clarify, yes I feel it would be cute and appropriate if that’s how the guests deposited their monetary gifts and perhaps some leftover change from the cashbar if they like.

    No, I don’t feel it would be appropriate if it’s another “add-on” to gift giving.

    Post # 19
    Member
    509 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2002

    I only find it rude b/c guests are already giving you a gift and it seems like you are extra for even more.

    Post # 20
    Member
    5217 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I can see how others think it would be rude. Maybe I am hyper laid back about these things… but I probably wouldn’t think twice about it.

    Post # 22
    Member
    4800 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    View original reply
    @JEHS:  I see, you’re thinking of it more like a card box. Yeah, I’d be fine with that too…but I just have the feeling that isn’t how most couples would use it.

    Post # 23
    Member
    3622 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    RUDE! I didn’t read the replies, but it would but cute to put loose change in in your house, just not at the wedding.

    Post # 24
    Member
    509 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Are you doing a dollar dance? I only ask because the dollar dance is primarily for the honeymoon fund and to personally thank your guests for coming and celebrating with you. Even if you did make a box instead of the “tip jar” it would still look incredibly bad. We all know it’s rude to ask for money in any aspect for such an event.

     

    Post # 25
    Member
    111 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    View original reply
    @Wonderstruck:  LOL, yes, exactly.  I like twists on older themes like the cardbox so that was what I thought of it was.

    Post # 26
    Member
    1659 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    And it’s in a Carlo Rossi jug.

    Post # 27
    Member
    745 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Money trees and wishing well are common in certan areas, so most likely, this is a different way to do it. I think it depends on your area as to whether it’s okay or not. There is no right or wrong answer to this with a national or international audience.

    To those who are saying they would find it rude and tacky, there is no obligation to contribute. Additionally, if you’re going to judge your friends as “gift grabby for doing something like this, how are you close enough friends with them to even go to their wedding in the first place.

    And I’m sorry, but I still see no difference between a money jar and a registry. But no one calls the Crate and Barrel registry tacky, or rude.

    Post # 28
    Member
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    View original reply
    @Bao:  

    I feel like dollar dance is usually a little different because it’s generally a cultural thing so people expect it and take it into account when deciding how to gift. Unless guests are expecting a money jar at the reception, this feels like asking for more than they already decided to give.

    Post # 29
    Member
    2892 posts
    Sugar bee

    Most people go to weddings with gifts they’ve already purchased and not a lot of spare cash. It’s very polarizing. People with either love it and make it rain or they’d be offended by the assumption that they would “make it rain” in the jar in addition to buying a gift before the wedding. I’d play it safe and just stay away from it.

    Post # 30
    Member
    2203 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    View original reply
    @VAwife:  Agree.

    Guests aren’t responsible for funding your honeymoon, i think it’s very rude.

    Post # 31
    Member
    1659 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    View original reply
    @HeathenSwan:  My feeling on registry vs. stuff like this is as follows:

    You can make a registry so that it exists. If a guest asks you where you’re registered, you can give them the courtesy of a straight answer. I don’t think that a registry is proactively requesting money from a guest.

    If you get proactive about it and post it on your website, print it in your invitations, or post it on Facebook, then you’re being rude.

    The topic ‘Rude or Cute?’ is closed to new replies.

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