(Closed) Rude or not?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1144 posts
Bumble bee

@maypearl:  There is no etiquette about not being able to use the same venue as a previous wedding. I think she’s being dramatic.

Post # 4
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Not. She would rather you pay way more at a different location just so you won’t have the reception where hers was? She sounds kinda selfish. 

Post # 5
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

@maypearl:  I think your friend is being exceptionally rude! Continue to plan the celebration you and your Fiance want– she has her own day to control, she doesn’t need to run yours as well!

Post # 6
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

She’s mad you’re having your post-wedding celebration at the same place as her? The place where you both work and there’s a month time difference between the parties?

i think you’re fine. Its nice that your friend shared her feelings with you but she needs a reality check.

Post # 7
2490 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I also think she’s been dramatic. There’s no rules on who can and can’t use a venue

Post # 8
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Keep planning. You both work there, why does she think she can dibs it??? It’s a month later and will have a totally different feel since it will be more like a party and probably some different guests! 

Post # 9
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@maypearl:  No, I think your friend is in the wrong here – she can’t claim a venue and say that her friends can’t also use that venue to get married. Plus, you aren’t even getting married there! I feel like it will be a completely different type of reception! She sounds like a good friend though, she did come to you with her feelings and concerns – I would keep eachother in the loop of your reception planning so you don’t do the same things, use the same decorations, etc. Maybe that will help?

Post # 10
2957 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

She is the rude one.

Post # 11
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@TriciaG:  +1. Your friend will just have to get over it. She doesn’t own the venue once she gets married there. Realistically, how many people that attend her wedding will attend your reception party?

I’d like her to show you the etiquette book where it says people who know each other can’t get married at the same venue. She is being ridiculous. Tell her to get over herself.

Post # 12
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

TO @maypearl:  First and foremost, I see that this is your Debut Post on WBee… so a BIG Welcome to “the Hive”

Etiquette Snob here… lol

First and foremost, if you aren’t related*, there is NO RULES whatsoever on the timing of WHEN you have your Wedding, or WHERE you choose to hold it (Ceremony or Reception)

And most certainly if you work at a Venue, then it makes total sense to have your Reception there.

In all honesty… this gal is being a Drama Queen.

And talking about something she knows NOTHING about and calling it Etiquette, solely because she doesn’t obviously have another word for her frustrations.

She feels hurt because you are using the same venue… and marrying just a month after her (altho this really doesn’t matter whatsoever… see my note above)

I had to laugh at the bit about her feeling upstaged… have you told her what you’ve told us here?

That you are planning a Back Home Reception, and not a full-on Day Of Wedding Reception… that your budget for your Wedding will be primarily going towards your Destination Ceremony ???

(Altho I admit I am a tad confused where you said your Hubby will want a HUGE celebration further on in the post)

AND that your Back Home Reception will happen after you get home from your Honeymoon… so probably weeks if not months after her own Wedding / Reception ???

For the record you don’t owe her an explanation… BUT it would probably set her mind at ease, a bit.  If you guys are friends, I’d think about doing that (infact I would have done it already when she brought up the topic)

If she can’t see reason on this, she is most certainly moving from Drama Queen to Bridezilla territory, IMO.

Stay the course sweetie, you have done nothing wrong.

Hope this helps,

* NOTE – There are Rules of Etiquette, IF you are related, but they are mostly as a courtesy… and the closer you are a relative, the more stringent the gap between Weddings should be.  But as I said, NONE of that applies in this situation.


Post # 14
3194 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@maypearl:  not. she sounds very selfish and/or self-conscious about her own wedding. not your problem. carry on.

Post # 15
7276 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think you’re being rude at all. Sounds like she is being a bit selfish.

Post # 16
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

She’s the rude one. You’ll already be married so technically you aren’t getting married there!  She needs to get over herself.

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