(Closed) Rude or not?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 167
3423 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Lillianna:  How did it all work out?

Post # 168
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - The Old Courthouse in Cleveland

This is tough. It’s their wedding, and they can invite whoever they’d like.

At the same time I would be terribly upet about the situation too. I hope it all works out!

Post # 169
27 posts
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Lillianna:  I do think that it was rude and I would feel the same way. When you are in a relationship for an extended period of time (especially if you are living together) you should be seen as a unit and invited together as a couple. I have never heard of this before. Also, when invites are sent out, I didn’t think that you ever really invite one person, I thought it always says either “and guest” or the name of the other person if they are a couple/family. I agree with you – I wouldn’t invite them to my wedding, there is no need, they specifically didn’t invite you to theirs.

Post # 171
5 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

Do you know what the reason is why you didn’t get invited? i have been in that situation and it sucks and i do think you should have been invited but sometimes it has nothing to do with anything other than the fact that they just don’t have the budget to accomodate dates.

Your Fiance is def in the right to ask about it especially since it might have been an oversight so he should definitely ask.

Post # 172
26 posts
  • Wedding: April 2014

Rude. If they’ve met you a few times and SO is a good friend, you should both be invited. If you’re cohabiting, you should definitely be invited. If they can’t afford you both, SO shouldn’t have been invited either.

I’d let SO go; it’s not his fault that his friends are thoughtless. It’s a little cheeky but I like the idea of writing your name on the card for their present.

My inclination would be not to invite them to your wedding if their presence will interfere with your happiness on the day. But if their absence might hurt SO more than it protects you, invite them and feel smug in the knowledge that at least you can adhere to basic etiquette.

Post # 174
44 posts
  • Wedding: December 2013

I think it is rude, but maybe something more is going on than limited numbers, especially if they didn’t invite you to the dinner the week before. One of my fiance’s friends got married and we had hung out a lot, and he was invited to the wedding, but I wasn’t. But, the reason was because the bride’s Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t like me (she was my ex-husband’s fiancee). But my fiance didn’t go because he didn’t want to go to something like that without me. I hope it all works out for you.


Post # 175
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

i agree with OP and would be PISSED. I would also have my man bring it up in a tactful way.

Just something to point out to everyone who made a comment about how some people follow a “no ring, no bring” policy….. Now that cohabitation is fairly common, every etiquette book lists couples living together as the same social unit status as engaged and married couples. Meaning, both or none.

Now extending a plus one to a non-cohabitating couple would be a very “play it by ear” situation, and you wold not be violating a major social rule by excluding a boyfriend or girlfriend. 

I would put my foot down too. What A*holes. 

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