(Closed) Rude or would it not bother you?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you send an RSVP card without a stamp in the above circumstances?

    Don't do it

    It's just a stamp - send them anyways!

  • Post # 16
    328 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Personally, I wouldn’t stress about it.  I’m in the US, but the vast majority of my large family is in Canada.  My Canadian cousins did not put a return stamp on their RSVP cards.  I thought it was odd not to have postage, but it really wasn’t a big deal. 

    That said, I am NOT doing this to my Canadian guests.  I had a relative buy Canada-to-US stamps for me to put on my reply cards so that my Canadian relatives do not have to use their own postage.  I will reimburse my relative for the cost of the stamps. 

    I buy most of my US stamps online.  It is quick and convenient.   

    Post # 17
    47430 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If you only have 5 US invitations, I would not worry about postage. I would add a handwritten note suggesting they respond by email.

    Post # 18
    15066 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I’d just put in a handwritten note for them to RSVP by email if necessary since you could not get US stamps.

    Post # 19
    1403 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I had one out of country invitation (not driveable…an ocean is involved) and did not procure a stamp – I just sent her a message saying she could let me know via email.  I really think it is not a big deal.

    Post # 20
    7638 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    @julies1949  I agree. Suggest an alternate way of reply like email, text or a phone call.

    Post # 21
    117 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    View original reply
    @sariibear  I’m actually not sure why people are acting like it would be such a big deal for the guests to buy stamps. Where I live (in the US) you can buy stamps at the grocery store, and I think most people keep some on hand at home. I wouldn’t think twice if someone, especially in another country, sent me a stampless RSVP card.

    Post # 22
    522 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    As long as the people know alternate ways to contact you (email, phone, website), then there’s nothing wrong with not buying international stamps. International postage is a pain in the hole, and I’m sure your guests will understand.

    Also, people in the US can buy postage at the grocery store and places other than the post office. It’s just hard to guess which places those are… And sometimes you walk in a grocery store and find a full-blown post office inside.

    Post # 25
    325 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    @sariibear  Isn’t etiquette simply about not offending and/or inconvenience your guests? I would be thoroughly annoyed if someone mailed me actual cash or an “exchange coupon” and expected ME to go exchange them for a stamp like some PPs are suggesting. I’d rather get an RSVP with no stamp. Send me cash or a coupon and I would probablybroll my eyes and toss it to the side until I got around to it… And, probably subsequently forget about it until you called me to figure out where my RSVp was anyway. Seriously, just let me RSVP online though and I would be a *much* happier camper. 

    Post # 27
    11506 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    Believe it or not, sending response cards — stamped or otherwise — is not traditional, though it has become customary in our culture.  The traditional way of issuing an invitation is to handwrite it and to allow your guests to handwrite their own responses, on their own paper, and to stamp the envelopes with their own postage.  So, you violated no etiquette rules by failing to include postage.

    I had one friend send her invitations in this manner. However, I was too worried about a lack of responses to go this route myself.  However, I did send ONE invation without including a response card and stamped envelope — to the friend who did not send one to me. I knew she would know exactly what to do. 

    Post # 28
    2696 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    View original reply
    @sariibear  I would just send them anyways. I enver thought about this! We’re doing online RSVP.

    IF you’re really worried, you can always call those guests for a verbal RSVP, then they won’t have to worry about sending back the cards.

    Post # 29
    13379 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    It  may reassure you to know that technically, not only does etiquette not require a reply card and stamp, but it is not  traditionally correct to include them!  Some experts still consider them little more than a crutch that at worst implIes the host think you lack the common sense to know a reply is expected anytime there is an RSVP on an invitation.  Guests were always expected to reply without prompt, reminder or deadline, usually on their own stationery, and gasp, they sometimes incurred the cost of a stamp!

    That said, reply cards are so universally expected these days that many people don’t want to run the risk of people not replying.  Truth is, the people who don’t have the courtesy to reply, won’t, regardless.  I did include stamped reply cards, but in your situation, I would not think twice about omitting the stamp. 

    The topic ‘Rude or would it not bother you?’ is closed to new replies.

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