(Closed) Rude rude rude!!

posted 7 years ago in TTC
  • poll: How should I respond to her next time it comes up?
    Huh? SIL is totally right! You should wait! : (4 votes)
    2 %
    Impossible to be polite, tell her to suck it : (102 votes)
    52 %
    I have a more cool-headed response, and I'm sharing below! : (16 votes)
    8 %
    No clue, but I agree that SIL is rude : (74 votes)
    38 %
  • Post # 32
    4753 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’d laugh and say something like “ok, we’ll try but __% of all kids are accidents you know… then laugh as it was a “joke”

    Post # 33
    3470 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    I had to deal with this with my sister– she has to do everything first… Really, EVERYTHING.  Which included moving up her wedding date by a year to try and “beat” our brother once they announced their date (for reference, but brother had been in his relationship for 10 years at the time… My sister was just rounding 7 months…) 

    Darling Husband & I weren’t even engaged (we were both full time students actually) when my sister made a comment at Christmas that I “better not get knocked up” before her and her husband did; otherwise she’d never forgive me… I calmly told her “Everything happens for a reason, if somehow both of my birth control methods fail, and I can’t get the abortion I would likely choose to have; and I do end up pregnant first– Maybe GOD would be using it as a way to teach her patience and forgiveness; since she seems to have so many issues with those virtues.” 

    My sister is always the first to comment on how much more Christian she is than the rest of us; including telling me (completely out of the blue) after my nephew was born that she “Wouldn’t be making me and (then)FI his legal guardians of their son should they die, because she just didn’t feel that our values aligned with theirs; she would be choosing my older brother & his (then)wife (both devout athiests).  

    I should also explain that my brother HATES her, largely for how horribly she treated his ex-wife among many, many other things. My sister also very often voiced her dislike for our SIL & often did everything she could to alienate her from our family.  Also, my sister and I are the ONLY members of our family who go to church on a regular basis.  But since Darling Husband & I were “living in sin” when she got pregnant, she didn’t think we would be “fit parents”.  And felt the need to call and tell me all about how and why she wasn’t choosing us.  

    As an aside, when my sister found out about my brother’s divorce, suddenly she was fine with making Darling Husband & me the defacto-guardians but only after we got married that is.  


    So that turned into a little bit of a vent… Sorry– but yes, take the high road, and don’t let her get to you.  

    As my dad always said– it’s like wrestling with a pig.  In the end, you’re both covered in mud; the only difference is– the pig likes it!  

    Post # 34
    419 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    i’d probably just laugh it off and act like i think its a joke. but not say “is that a joke” just a polite “oh! ha haha” in these kinds of situations i have to ask myself, what would jesus do??? hahahha

    Post # 35
    1393 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’d probably say something like, “OMG, we get it. Would you please drop it?” and move along. Aside from being rude, she’s being super annoying. And maybe she thinks that you think she’s being cute. She’s not. She’s being annoying. Tell her to knock it off. Then, when you announce that you’re pregnant, just tell her she kept bringing it up so often, you couldn’t stop thinking about it and decided it was a super good idea. HA.

    Post # 36
    1397 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    If she can’t have any more fat bridesmaids (BITCH), then I guess your potentially pregnant ass just can’t be a bridesmaid. WHAT A HEARTACHE; I’m sure she’d be a lovely, non-bridezillay bride… *eyeroll*. Are you sure someone actually wants to marry her?

    Post # 37
    289 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    too many fat bridesmaids? lol what a biatch

    Post # 38
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Perhaps she just wants the children to be close in age?

    Post # 39
    11231 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @lanalnoco:  +10000000000000000

    Post # 40
    931 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I voted to tell her to “suck it” because that’s what she deserves.

    That said, if SHE brings it up again, I wouldn’t let her get away with it.  I wouldn’t tell her to suck it either though.

    I think you have to calmly tell her that you and your Darling Husband are making your own plans for your future and her un-settled life plans don’t really factor in to the decision making.  (you can add, if you agree, that you would consider working around her wedding date once it’s set – I stopped TTC for 3 months because my brother set his wedding date and I wanted to be sure to be there)

    If she decides to throw down after that polite and reasonable comment, feel free to actually tell her to stick it where the sun don’t shine. 

    Post # 43
    2259 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Sounds like my b*tch of a SIL. Honestly, I’d tell her to keep her opinions about your baby making to herself. You and your husband will have a baby when you’re ready- regardless of whether she’s engaged/married/whatever. It’s SO rude to put such requests on anyone. Seriously. Some people think their wedding is AS important as the royal one and everyone worldwide should tune in to their nuptuals and do nothing to ‘ruin’ it by having a normal life in the meantime. 

    As a pregnant woman, but more importantly a women who takes no BS- that would seriously piss me off. :$

    Post # 44
    622 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    just ignore it. you can’t accomplish anything by being rude back, right? also, if you want to get pregnant, then do it. no one else should have any opinion on when or why you have a child. just saying.

    Post # 45
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I also think if she continues to bring it up you should say something like:

    “Oh shit that reminds me, I keep forgetting to refill my pills.  Which means I probably should have gotten my period last week….”

    Post # 46
    2259 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @almostmrsj:  hah! Yes. Do this. I would totally do this. hehe

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