(Closed) Rude Seating Chart Freakout! (Long)

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
2977 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’d dump her.  Who needs “friends” like that. Seating charts are the pits and maybe someday karma will come back around on her and bite her in her self centered little butt. I’d just tell her that since it’s such an inconvienence to them both to just stay at home.

 

 

Post # 18
Member
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I am shocked! Her behavior should not be enabled- leave seating chart as originally planned!

 

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@Mrs_Amanda: Well said!

Post # 19
Member
4334 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I dunno…I think she makes some really good points. I kind of surprised at how everyone is jumping on her! Yes, she had a bad first reaction, but after reading the emails you can see her thinking… 

She says like 5 times, “WHY DID YOU TELL ME?” I think that’s her point? Why DID the OP tell her who she would be sitting with?

Then she asks why the OP said she would reconsider the seating when she clearly won’t!

but what bothers me most is that you’re putting the weight of it on my shoulders now, basically saying, “Well, if you want, you can leave Sharon by herself.” I don’t appreciate this responsibility and it’s unfair of you to shift the fault to me.

um, yeah, people, that kind of IS what the OP is doing, and not very nice.

Normally, when I go to a wedding, I don’t know in advance who I’m sitting with. Fiance and I went to a wedding 2 weeks ago, and we walked in and found with were sitting with 2 of our friends, and a bunch of people we don’t know. (and our other friends were sitting at another table.) Big deal. It’s not like the bride called us up in advance and “warned” us that we wouldn’t be with our friends!

Post # 20
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

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@red_rose:I have told people in advance who they will be sitting with. I think she was just trying to give her a heads up so she wouldn’t be surprised by it at the wedding. I also think OP is trying to make it better by saying she will try to redo the chart. I am a type of person that tries to please everyone and I think OP is to. I could see myself doing the same thing and I think her friend should have just said ok and moved on.

Post # 21
Member
2424 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Wow. I mean obviously she blew this way out of proportion, but I do agree with her on one point- you shouldn’t have told her anything to begin with. From now on don’t even tell other guests who you have seated them with before the wedding, it is bound to cause problems. Like you said, it’s not their choice, so don’t even bother them with it.

Post # 22
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee

Whether or not the OP should or should not have informed a guest of a potential seating dilemma really doesn’t matter. This girl’s EXPLOSIVE bratty, inconsiderate, immature reaction is the issue. She had zero emphathy and spent her energy trying to shift blame rather than taking responsibility for her actions. What, you can’t sit by ALL your friends? Boo-freaking-hoo. Let’s grow up and deal with it for 30 mintutes.

I think you did all you could and handled it wonderfully. Maybe not tell anyone else about seating to avoid any similar outbursts. If it had been me, that girl and her practically a stranger to me boyfriend would have had their invites revoked. But thats just me. Sorry you had to deal with that.

Post # 23
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

This is why, even if people ask, you smile and say “Oh goodness we haven’t even though about the seating chart yet!” up until the wedding day when they have a place card in hand.

Once I went to an Out of Town wedding and DH and I were seated at a table of really young guests who we had never met, meanwhile we knew a bunch of people at other tables. Instead of seating us together the B&G separated us all to sit at tables where we all knew no one. As weird as that was, I was annoyed for only 1/2 a second then moved on bc I know how hard it is to make seating charts and like you said you’re only in your seat for about 30 mins.

Post # 24
Member
4885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I feel for you but I’m really confused as to how or why you kept this conversation going about your seating chart.  There are way bigger fish to fry, and at the end of the day it’s just a dinner.  People can be alone or with people they don’t like for 30 minutes without imploding.

Don’t tell her any more details about your wedding!~

Post # 25
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

You should seat her in the parking lot.  What a b****.

Post # 26
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would personally asked her not to attend at that point.  I can’t believe the reaction she’s having to where she’s sitting during dinner.  Seriously?!?  Your wedding is days away!  I’ve never heard of anyone getting that upset about where their seated at a wedding!  If it’s that much of a chore to come then don’t come! Makes me want to strangle her for you…..lol

Post # 27
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@red_rose: I tend to agree. I think both are at fault here. Could the friend handled it better? Just smiled graciously, and said: “I’m glad to be there, and it will be nice to catch up with Sharon again.” Of course.

But her explanations are not entirely out of line either, and once she got upset the OP should not have tried to use guilt to explain the situation. No one wants to be put in the situation of “well, I was just trying to explain things, but if you want to leave so and so all by themselves…”

I think the best course of action all around is just to cut the email thread off right now. Say: “Sorry you feel this way, hope to still see you at the wedding.” and say nothing more about it. 

 

Post # 29
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

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@Taylor4: I agree, to be fair I don’t think she’s being particularly “bitchy” she is being honest and saying exactly what I would be saying which is essentially “why are you asking me and then getting upset that I’m telling you what I think” – the bride asked her a question and clearly didn’t get the answer she was expecting, that isn’t the same as rude.

OP: saying that you “can’t expect [your friend] to understand the work that goes into planning an event like this” is pretty passive aggressive and I think mostly what led to her being upset with you. You’re mad at her for not understanding your perspective but I don’t think you seem to be trying to understand hers either.

Post # 30
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Tell her the wedding is cancelled due to seating chart drama so she stays home and then have a worry free night without her. You don’t need to worry about some puss-face scowling at you throughout dinner all night.

Post # 31
Member
13094 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

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@red_rose: and
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@Taylor4: I totally agree with you guys!  I’m shocked that so many PPs are jumping all over this friend.  Did she respond in the best way possible?  No.  But I’d be a little peeved if a whole group of my friends were all sitting together and I was the only one excluded too.

I think the OP was totally in the wrong by even telling the friend this ahead of time.  And then to try to make her feel guilty with the whole “well I could move you but then S would be by herself” thing.  That just isn’t right and is way more rude than the friend’s initial reaction, IMO.

From the email string, it seems to me like the friend just wants to drop the conversation that she never wanted to be privy to in the first place and the OP keeps dragging it out and laying on the guilt trip.

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