- 6 years ago
- Wedding: February 2013
While visiting my dad today, he showed me “our” S-T-D to my cousin’s wedding. My first response was, huh?!?
– I haven’t lived with my dad for 5 years. The B&G should know this b/c the groom’s dad (my uncle) called my dad to ask about his address and my dad told him my new address as well, since I had just moved.
– Even if I did live with him, I’m 26. I should’ve gotten my own, seperate card instead of being added on to my dad’s like a young kid. Seriously, it said “Dad’sFullName and MyFirst”
– My Fiance wasn’t listed at all, and its pretty safe to assume he won’t be on the invite either if the S-T-D went to my dad’s house. Granted, my cousin only met Fiance at Christmas last year, but I’ve dated him for nearly a decade. Its common knowledge in the family that I’m with someone. And I’m also pretty sure my dad told his dad about my upcoming wedding when he called about the address. This is the one that’s bugging me the most, mostly because it is actually pretty darn close to our wedding. If their date was 7 or 8 weeks later, this person would be my spouse!
I thought about contacting my cousin just to remind him of my new address and my FI’s name, in case he forgot or his dad didn’t relay the info, because if it was an honest mistake I don’t want to harbor a grudge over it. But, since the wedding is several states away and on a holiday weekend, we probably won’t go anyway, so I wouldn’t want him to add FI to the list only for us to decline. On the other hand, the sentiment would be nice even if we don’t go, because Fiance is understandably hurt that he was forgotten (his family is way more inclusive and close than mine) and doesn’t want me to invite this cousin to our wedding now.
I’m not entirely sure what to do. Part of me would like to say something to him so he knows I feel slighted and/or can fix the etiquette slip if he honestly goofed. The other part says that I should be the bigger person and not say anything, and do the right thing when it comes to my own invites (invite him and his Fiance together). Another would like to do something snarky and equally rude, like only invite him and not his Fiance in return (I doubt they’d come anyway, we’re not very close. But I originally wanted to to extend the olive branch, as it were, in hopes that we could become closer. FI’s close-knit family has really inspired me to reach out to my relatives in turn.)
Any suggestions on how to proceed/just telling me to chill out would be greatly appreciated!