(Closed) Rude to call someone out on FB for RSVP?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
6835 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I think that’s super rude.  The deadline is not even close!  Jeez, I would be super irritated if I were tagged in that.

Post # 18
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@LedeLady:  I’ve seen couples post about RSVP reminders before, but never seen them tag people.  I think it’s in poor taste, both to post about the wedding (where people who aren’t invited can see) and to “call out” those who are late to RSVP.  That said, people who are late/don’t RSVP are rude, so maybe that cancels each other out.  Regardless, poor taste for sure.

Post # 19
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Private msg ok if they aren’t responding to phone or txt it’s ridiculous to post a status ! If they font answer pm or other attempts they aren’t coming 

Post # 20
Member
7384 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@ajillity81:  Thissssssssssss.

I have a girl on my FB who constantly posts about her wedding, including lots of dramatic bs. One of her status updates was even, “I’m glad we wasted $$$ on stamps so that no one could send their RSVP in!!!!” I asked her WHY the fuck her RSVP date was SO early (the due date was THREE MONTHS before the wedding), and she was like, “Well, everything we found for a destination wedding said blah blah blah.” It’s not really a destination wedding, but okay…that’s still WAY too early. No wonder so many people hadn’t RSVPd yet.

Post # 21
Member
7813 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@LedeLady:  I sure wouldn’t have done it or appreciated having it done to me. Public shaming over wedding RSVPs? Really? Also, they have 12 days left. Ask them – privately – on the 13th day.

Post # 22
Member
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@LedeLady:  I say rude. Pick up the phone and call them in 11 days, blaming it on the caterer and needing a head count ASAP. Don’t be so impersonal about that stuff.

Post # 23
Member
2953 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@LedeLady:  Meh. FB is a dreadful place. I hope it dies out soon.

Post # 24
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MrsPanda99:  I’m with you! I had a friend send a group private message on FB to people who hadn’t RSVPed with about 2 weeks left. Then again 2 days before the due date (before checking the mail, bc mine came in that day). I was irked to say the least.

I think the group FB shaming is rude (and lazy), but on top of it all, why have a due date if you harass people before it? Either keep quiet, or move the day up.

Post # 25
Member
2265 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@LedeLady:  Yes, it was rude, particularly since these people hadn’t missed the RSVP deadline yet!

Post # 26
Member
7813 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@futurefishy:  I wouldn’t harass people at all. If they don’t bother to reply, I assume they aren’t coming. If they show up, sorry, there’s no seat. We aren’t children and I shouldn’t need to chase people. However, bothering people before a deadline is even missed? Sounds like something my boss would do 😛

Post # 27
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@LedeLady:  I understand the frustration.. that said, it should be addressed with a phone call. And then another. And then after that, they will be put in the “not attending” category. I don’t think it’s terribly mature to call people out on Facebook.

Plus, as you mentioned, that opens the issue up to people you might be Facebook friends with who weren’t invited to the wedding. Awkward…

Post # 28
Member
4685 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

@LedeLady:  I had a friend who went individually to each persons page and wrote a message that said “send back your rsvp card jerk face!”. Now granted, it’s fitting for this girl’s personality. So it wasn’t very shocking, but I just kind of thought, if you’re going to resort to facebook why not do a private message first and see what happens? I guess it’s possible that she did and those messages were the second attempt or more. Who knows. But yes, it’s rude I think. I feel like people forget sometimes that a facebook convo isn’t private. So my rule is, if I wouldn’t have a conversation on a stage in front of every person I have on my friends list, I should keep it to a pm or text message. I hate when people carry on convo’s in comments of things others have commented on and the topic is totally something that should be in a pm.

Post # 29
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I do NOT understand why people do this.

If your RSVP date is June 10th then you should make it your beeswax to keep your mouth shut until June 10th.   So rude to pester people about RSVPs when the date hasn’t even passed.

Post # 30
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@DaneLady:  Same here. I really dont use facebook and i specifially prevented people from posting on my wall to stop them asking wedding questions. I’ve had lots of PM’s though!

I think putting anything about your wedding on FB a lil tacky. But i find FB altogether tacky so i’m biased lol

Post # 31
Member
5708 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yeah something private would have been better. I understand wanting to get the message out, but that wasn’t the right way to do it.

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