(Closed) Rude to have two Bridal Showers?

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have hosting a shower for my best friend and her aunt threw her one as well. Her aunt had the family shower and I am hosting the friend shower, maybe you could do something like that?

Post # 4
Member
11419 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@soontobemrssully:  I think it is lovely that your FMIL’s friend generously has offered to host a bridal shower in your honor.  Your Future Mother-In-Law is right — from an etiquette perspective, it technically is not considered to be proper for a member of the bride’s family to host a shower.

ETA:  I wanted to add, however, that it is not rude for there to be more than one shower.

 

 

 

Post # 5
Member
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I will have one shower thrown by my FI’s side of the family, and one shower thrown by my Maid/Matron of Honor that is more for my side of the family/friends. I don’t think having two is a problem as long as different people are invited to both.

ETA: I’m of the understanding that it’s okay to have a bridal shower thrown by your sister if she’s a member of the wedding party (since traditionally the wedding party plans the showers anyway). My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor and she’s hosting (but not at my parents’ house).

Post # 6
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

“I appreciate all the effort you’re willing to go to, but scheduling the shower on Sunday doesn’t work for my family. How about if I give you a list of dates that can work with our schedules, and you can pick whichever one you like best. If none of them work for you, I’ll totally understand if you can’t host a shower.”

Rinse, repeat as necessary. Stand firm. Don’t be bullied.

Post # 7
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I know a lot of people who have 2 bridal showers because someone from both sides of the family wants to host. The way it’s done here is that the bridal showers planned by someone on the grooms side of the family are for the guests on that side, and vice versa. I don’t think it seems “gift grabby” unless you have all the same people invited to both showers. I don’t know the official etiquette on this, though, so keep that in mind

Post # 9
Member
6574 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s not rude if its for two seperate sides. I had a shover in my town that was almost all just my family and friends. DH’s family all live in the same town about 7 hours away and wanted to host something Up there. None of the guest list overlapped at all.

Post # 10
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think the polite thing to do is to ask the guest of honor (you) what day of the week you would like to have a shower.  That doesn’t seem right to me. 

 

When I chose the date for my bride’s shower, I made sure that I picked a date that was available to the entire bridal party, MOB, and the bride.

 

Post # 11
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Have two.  One thrown my FMIL’s friend and one by your sister.  Lots of people do it that way you make them all happy. 

Post # 12
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t understand all of the “rules” surrounding bridal showers but I will say I am having two.  My Future Mother-In-Law told me FI’s aunts wanted to throw a shower and asked if we wanted to combine it with the one my aunts are throwing me but my aunt didn’t want to do that as it would end up being WELL over 50 people (and that’s only family – aunts, cousins, etc.).  Most of the people I know who have gotten married have had ATLEAST two showers so I wouldn’t be too concerned that people would find it rude.  If it’s not the same guests I don’t find it rude.

Post # 13
Member
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

It’s fine to have two! Just split your list in half and make sure no one gets invited to both showers!

Post # 14
Member
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m caught in the middle of warring family factions, so yeah, I’m stuck with multiple bridal showers. There shouldn’t be much family family overlap, but both sides want to invite my friends. I just warned them of multiple invites, they’re not obligated to go to any of them, free booze if you do show up, yadda yadda.

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