(Closed) Rude to not mention both sets of parents?

posted 5 years ago in Paper
Post # 2
2257 posts
Buzzing bee

Include their names in the ceremony program if you want to be inclusive. Stick to the traditional wording. Your parents are paying, that’s how it should be.

Post # 3
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida


pinkdaisy12: The Invitation list the Host of the wedding if she isn’t paing she isn’t a host. It would be an insult to your parents to have her name on the invitation is she did not financially contribute to the wedding.  I agree with PP have her in the ceremony program.

Post # 4
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015


pinkdaisy12:  I agree with PP. Their names will be on the program. Since she’s not contributing, her name shouldn’t be on there, and you shouldn’t add it just to make her happy.

We added FI’s parents names on our invites. Thats only because they did give us a decent amount of cash to put towards whatever, although my parents are paying majority of the bill. Fiance also wanted his parents names on there.

Post # 5
47278 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

The wording on the invitations doesn’t indicate who is paying for the wedding. It indicates who is hosting the wedding. There is a difference.

This is one of those situations in life where you can do things the “proper” way, or you can inclusive and thankful to both sets of parents.

Post # 6
3225 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

pinkdaisy12: Hosting is not the same as “paying for”. If your parents haven’t been included on any of the planning it sounds like you are hosting your own wedding. That said, traditional wording can also include the groom’s parents’ names like so:

Bob and Sally Jones

request the honour of your presence

at the marriage of their daughter

Pink Daisy Jones


Blue Rose Williams

son of Jimmy and Jane Williams 


and so on. You’ve already printed the invitations, so this point is null and void, your Future Mother-In-Law will just have to get over it. 

Post # 8
2268 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I’ll just reiterate what PPs have already stated:

An invitation is a note from th host(s) to the guest(s) informing them of all of the pertinent details of the event. The names on the invitation should be the names of the hosts. Hosting and paying are two different things, even though those who pay often host, though this is not always necessarily the case. It is not an honor to be listed on an invitation; it is an honor to receive one. If your Future Mother-In-Law is not hosting, her name need not be on the invitation. An invitation is not a family tree. She should be listed on your program, though!

Post # 9
6432 posts
Bee Keeper

pinkdaisy12:  I would just kindly tell your Fiance that the invitations are already printed up and you’re not going to waste your parents money on printing up new ones that include your Future Mother-In-Law.

Post # 10
9320 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

only mentioned my mom on invitation who paid for wedding. 

no mention of DH’s mom, wasn’t even a thought and no one was offended.


Post # 11
4037 posts
Honey bee

Nope. Not rude. Next she’ll want ones with her name on them sent to her family and friends. Your Future Mother-In-Law can issue the invitations to the rehearsal dinner.

Post # 12
25 posts

I only mentioned my parents name on the invitation. Whoever is paying for the wedding should only be included. The rehearsal dinner is your inlaws chance to showcase their family.

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