Post # 1
So this is too late as I already have my invitations printed but my Fiance mentioned having a random one printed up for his mom that would have her name on it. We can’t really do that but he thinks she will be hurt her name is not on the invitation.
My parents are paying for the entire wedding and so I wanted the wording the traditional way (I am also pretty traditional) with their names request the honour of your presence etc. Is it wrong that I did it that way? I have always seen wedding invitations that way and that is how my sister’s was done.
I know it is a rough subject for her as she is mad she isn’t involved in any of the planning, but honestly my mom isn’t either. We are planning the wedding ourselves and I feel like the less people giving all kinds of opinions the better because we aren’t going to make everyone happy. To begin withP she was very rude to me when she found out I was having our wedding in a different city than she wanted it in. She said people wouldn’t travel there. My entire family has to fly in and we have the most friends in that city, which is why I choose it. So after that we have pretty much planned it, asking opinions here and there, but we don’t need people being rude about things. 🙂
Anyway, what do y’all think? I kind of feel bad but that is only because he mentioned something. Before then I didn’t give it a second thought.
Post # 2
Include their names in the ceremony program if you want to be inclusive. Stick to the traditional wording. Your parents are paying, that’s how it should be.
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida
pinkdaisy12: The Invitation list the Host of the wedding if she isn’t paing she isn’t a host. It would be an insult to your parents to have her name on the invitation is she did not financially contribute to the wedding. I agree with PP have her in the ceremony program.
Post # 4
pinkdaisy12: I agree with PP. Their names will be on the program. Since she’s not contributing, her name shouldn’t be on there, and you shouldn’t add it just to make her happy.
We added FI’s parents names on our invites. Thats only because they did give us a decent amount of cash to put towards whatever, although my parents are paying majority of the bill. Fiance also wanted his parents names on there.
Post # 5
The wording on the invitations doesn’t indicate who is paying for the wedding. It indicates who is hosting the wedding. There is a difference.
This is one of those situations in life where you can do things the “proper” way, or you can inclusive and thankful to both sets of parents.
Post # 6
pinkdaisy12: Hosting is not the same as “paying for”. If your parents haven’t been included on any of the planning it sounds like you are hosting your own wedding. That said, traditional wording can also include the groom’s parents’ names like so:
Bob and Sally Jones
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Pink Daisy Jones
Blue Rose Williams
son of Jimmy and Jane Williams
and so on. You’ve already printed the invitations, so this point is null and void, your Future Mother-In-Law will just have to get over it.
Post # 7
julies1949: But my parents would be hosting if they are paying.
FutureMrsHouy: I agree that it would be an insult to my parents, I didn’t think of it that way previously. I could see how if we had added her just to make her feel included, then my mom may feel upset.
onthefritz: justwondering2015: Thank you both for your insight! I do feel bad for her because she feels like she doesn’t have a say, but I tried to explain we aren’t asking a ton of people their opinions because in the past, I have discovered, it just ends up with people getting mad if you don’t do what they wanted and then too many people trying to decide something. I can’t make everyone happy 🙂
Thanks for making me feel better! My parents are paying the entire thing and I really like how the wording is for that, where when you add both you change the wording completely and it isn’t my favorite 🙂
Post # 8
I’ll just reiterate what PPs have already stated:
An invitation is a note from th host(s) to the guest(s) informing them of all of the pertinent details of the event. The names on the invitation should be the names of the hosts. Hosting and paying are two different things, even though those who pay often host, though this is not always necessarily the case. It is not an honor to be listed on an invitation; it is an honor to receive one. If your Future Mother-In-Law is not hosting, her name need not be on the invitation. An invitation is not a family tree. She should be listed on your program, though!
Post # 9
pinkdaisy12: I would just kindly tell your Fiance that the invitations are already printed up and you’re not going to waste your parents money on printing up new ones that include your Future Mother-In-Law.
Post # 10
only mentioned my mom on invitation who paid for wedding.
no mention of DH’s mom, wasn’t even a thought and no one was offended.
Post # 11
Nope. Not rude. Next she’ll want ones with her name on them sent to her family and friends. Your Future Mother-In-Law can issue the invitations to the rehearsal dinner.
Post # 12
I only mentioned my parents name on the invitation. Whoever is paying for the wedding should only be included. The rehearsal dinner is your inlaws chance to showcase their family.