Post # 1
So I am quite new to this whole wedding planning thing. I have just started sending out a few emails to get quotes so I can prepare my budget and get a good idea how much the items I dream of would cost. I sent an email to a few local florists with photos of what I am after. Quite simple really I would like red roses and a lot of them. Flowers are fairly important to the overall look and therefore I am happy to allocate a nice chunk of the budget on them.
The bridal bouquet I would like is dome shaped and full of dark red roses with little or no greenery. Most of the florists so far have been quite helpful with quotes and ideas. However, one vendor responded with “No I don’t do dome shaped bouquets, they are not my style. If you want to change your style to more natural and relaxed then give me a call” Now I’m a bit confused, isn’t this day supposed to be the one day where “my” style is the most important thing, not my florist’s?
I thought it was pretty rude and I would like to respond to her explaining why I will be taking my business elsewhere, but I’m not quite sure what to say. Any thoughts? Have you had anyone make your day about them?
Post # 2
To be honest I don’t think it was that rude, depending on how exactly she phrased it. She was honest with you, it isn’t what she does. She has given you every choice to use someone else rather than lie to you. I don’t think she was trying to make it about you, in a way she is an artist and you chose an artist whose style aligns with yours. If you don’t want abstracts you wouldn’t hire an abstract painter to paint for you. I would just reply with something like “Thank you for your honesty. Unfortunately, this style is what I was hoping for and I am unwilling to deviate from it. I will inform you if that changes.”
Post # 3
I think that is ok…. The florist I am using told me straight up that she only does a really loose whimsical style as that is her preferred aesthetic and look… And that she did not think she did as much justice to the really structured perfect flowers… That was fine by me I only wanted really loose.
I think it’s better they tell you their style… It is an art form… And you only want to use someone whose style matches your own.
Post # 4
sorry, I don’t find that response rude. As you go deeper into your planning you will find that vendors will respond similarly if they can’t do what you want. Yes, it’s “your” big day but most of the things vendors do are an art form and I see nothing wrong with them telling you they are unable to do what you want. That saves you disappointment in the end. I just wouldn’t respOnd OR I would respOnd and tell them thanks but that’s what you’re looking for so you can’t work with them.
Post # 5
I also think the response was fair. It’s better than if she took the job and then you were unhappy with the way she did things. There’s no reason you have to respond to her at all, just take your business elsewhere and move on with wedding planning.
Post # 6
Just tell her you are not changing your style and will find someone else. End it with thank you for your time.
Post # 7
Okay thanks everyone perhaps I overeacted a bit. I will just stick with the vendors who a willing to fit in with my style.
Post # 8
yea she probably didn’t mean to come off rude it was just probably the way you read it. It’s really easy to think that over emails and text. Try reading it as if you were in her shoes. I read it both ways and can see how it can be rude but than i see how she is simply telling you what her style of work is.
Post # 9
Let me put it this way, I am a wedding vendor as well. I am a soloist that does wedding ceremonies (usually during the signing of the registry, stuff like Ave Maria and other church-y things). I realize that making the bride and groom happy is a very important part of my job but at the same time what I am putting out there has my name on it and needs to showcase my talent.
When brides (usually brides who know little about singing) ask me to sing something that would in no way sound good in my voice I have to say no. A lot of the time they will ask me to sing a song written for a man (You Raise Me Up is a popular request). You can change the key, but that song just does not sound the same being sung by a woman and despite the fact that I am being paid I would rather not advertise to your guests and the church organist that this is the product I am selling.
Whenever someone asks for that my response is pretty similar to that of your florist. “What a lovely song choice, unfortunately it is not something that works for my voice and is not in the roster of pieces that I sing. If you decide to go with it I can definitely recommend some other singers in the area”.
Post # 10
I don’t think she was rude at all. You should choose EVERY vendor because you like the work they do. You wouldn’t inquire with a chef who only makes American food and ask them to do an Indian Buffet. As a wedding photographer, people contact me all the time for inquiries and then ask me about shooting a different style (more traditional, etc). It’s not my style, that’s now how I “see” when I’m working – I can’t just change how I work. I kindly tell them I don’t think we’d be a good fit and suggest they keep looking to find someone more in line with the style they are searching for. It’s not rude, I’m just being honest. I would never take a client on if I didn’t feel I could meet their expectations – and I certainly won’t change my style to do so. Everything seen on my website is a representation of my work, so if they don’t like what they see it’s not even worth inquiring.
Post # 11
I think she’s doing you a favor and telling you she’s not the right pick for that style. It’s not her expertise. Like asking a photojournalist photog for editorial and fine art photos.
Post # 12
We have dealt with a few tricky vendors, too. The day we went to visit florists (a Tuesday, I believe), two of them refused to talk to us because we didn’t have appointments. We quickly made a beline for the door. If they don’t want our business, we don’t want to do business with them. We also had a vendor tell us that we were ruining everybody’s fourth of july weekend with our wedding being on the 3rd. I am choosing to ignore the criticism from them and go elsewhere.