(Closed) Rude?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t think it’s rude. If it were me I would be honored that you thought enough about me to invite me instead of thinking that I wouldn’t be interested. You never know, someone might surprise you and show up…

Post # 4
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

How close is it to the wedding? Do you realistically think they may be able to come?

I only invited people with the intention that they would be able to make it not to seem gift grabby!

Post # 6
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I only invited those that were local for mine, but that was just me. I would say, if you think they can make it, invite them. What’s the worst they will say, no?

Post # 7
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Not rude. If they’re you’re friends, they’ll appreciate an invite!

Post # 8
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I sent invite to my non-local friends/family.  I speak to them all regularly so I just made a point to say something like, “I know you won’t be able to attend the shower but it just didn’t feel right not at least sending an invite!”.  They all said it was thoughtful. 

Post # 9
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t think it’s rude, if they’re close friends of yours.  My shower’s in SF, and we invited my LA college girlfriends, even though I’m sure they won’t come.  But they mean a lot to me, and I guess there’s a chance they could, so I wanted to make sure they felt welcome.  We also invited two female family members from farther away, as a nice gesture as they are very close to the family.  If these women know you well, they’ll understand you’re not just fishing for gifts!

Post # 10
Member
575 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Kindred Oaks, Georgetown

I’m sorta in the same boat. I know most of them won’t be able to make it but I went ahead and invited them anyways so they knew they weren’t forgotten. I think that was appreciated.

Post # 11
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I probably wouldn’t invite people who would have to travel for a shower unless they’ll be in town for the wedding anyway.  I don’t think most people will travel for a shower.

Post # 12
Member
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I invited my far Out of Town guests, just as a courtesy. I didn’t send them an invite…I just let them know when it was. I am actually adding the local Out of Town guests to the invite list, since they actually have a chance of showing up.

Post # 13
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I had girlfriends (including my MOH) who were out of town and i didnt want them travelling all the way with a gift for just the shower but i wanted them invited cause they are a huge part of my life.

I simply sent them an email stating “I really really really want you guys to come to the wedding more then this shower but i also want you to know that you are deffinitly in my thoughts and i would love to have you attend the shower, its just simply not expected under the distance circumstances!”

Post # 14
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think it’s a little rude. I thought it was rude that I was invited to my friends baby shower who lives an hour away from me who didn’t make it to my bridal shower or wedding. Clearly that was a gift-grab.

Post # 15
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I invited all my Out of Town guests. I figured it was safer to invite everyone than to not invite some people and have them find out later, then become upset because they could/would have come. Same with my wedding invites; I know there are several Out of Town people who probably won’t make it, but I want them to be invited in case they can/want to come.

And speaking from the other side of the question, as a guest: I had an out-of-state friend ask me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor, which I couldn’t do due to distance and time constraints (my sister was getting married soon after her); she said she was fine with that, but I never received an invite to her wedding. I would have made the effort to ATTEND, just not as a bridesmaid/MOH! So I was a little hurt that she “assumed” I wouldn’t come because I was out-of-state.

Post # 16
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I don’t think it would be rude to invite them. Even if they can’t make it, I’m sure they would still appreciate the offer. Better than not inviting them, and having them get upset if they later find out that they weren’t. 🙂

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