- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Hey ladies – I just wanted to vent a little about some of my family’s somewhat surprising behavior at my bridal shower this past Saturday. It was held at my mother’s house and was relatively small, which I preferred, with basically my bridal party and a handful of family members. I found out after the fact through the grapevine that a handful of family members that told my mother they were coming ended up just ditching it, but that’s besides the point.
What bothered me is that my aunt, my grandmother, cousin and great aunt wouldn’t stop talking the entire damn time. Now, I know bridal showers are supposed to be for chatting and talking and having fun, but they didn’t participate in the bridal shower games and wouldn’t shut up when my sister, one of my bridesmaids or I (3 separate times) tried to announce the answers to the wedding word scramble game. They wouldn’t shut up during me opening the gifts, even their own when I would open their own gifts and announce it was their gifts that they got me. It was a small room, definitely not a banquet hall where idle chatter could get lost in the shuffle. It was loud, obnoxious and rude. When my bridesmaid cut the cake and went to hand them a piece, they said they didn’t want any dessert and kept on talking. Maybe it’s just me, but when I was a kid, my mother and father taught me that at a celebration, you have to take a piece of cake. You don’t even have to eat it, but you have to take it. It might sound silly, but it just added to their rudeness level displayed.
Each of them probably talked to me for a total of 2 or 3 minutes total during the whole event, no joke. They acted as if their attendance was a gift in and of itself. Now, we live an hour north of where my family lives, but this never stopped them from coming to parties where they didn’t have to bring a present and got to indulge in free food and alcohol at our graduation parties in years past.
I still had a fun time with my bridesmaids and MOH/sister, so I didn’t mind too much at the time. But I started to get really angry yesterday when I found out that my aunt was spreading rumors that my mother did a crappy job at planning the event because she gave way too little notice and it was very inconvenient (I found out that invitations were sent a little over 3 weeks before the event). I have always known that these family members, based on their own past weddings, appear very self-absorbed and think they can do no wrong.
My aunt called me last night and asked me about what color jordan almonds I wanted for the ceremony, and she happened to slip in a question about whether or not I enjoyed myself on Saturday because I looked sad. I told her that I did have fun but I wasn’t happy that my cousin and great aunt couldn’t stop talking. She said, “Yea I know she wouldn’t stop talking about her kids!” But everyone saw (and my sister even inadvertently filmed it during the shower) that it was my aunt talking to my cousin nonstop super loudly. I feel like I gave her an out to at least say, “Yea, sorry if it seemed like I was talking a lot but she wouldn’t shut up!” Even if she brushed it off on someone else, at least she would have acknowledged it (a big step for her).
Now, I’m at an impasse. My mother was very hurt by their behavior and what my aunt and some family were saying during the time before the shower. My aunt’s son is going to be my ring bearer, and my father now wishes I didn’t ask him to be in the wedding because he doesn’t want him doing it anymore. I’m honestly only bothered and mad by this because of how they made my mother feel… I wish there was something I could say, and I feel so phony just putting a smile on my face, but I don’t want to justify or acknowledge their behavior or stir up drama 2 months before the wedding.
Anyone else in a similar situation with dramatic, annoying family? If so, did you deal with them before the wedding or after, or did you just ignore them? I think I’m going to part ways with them as quietly and politely as possible once the wedding is over.
Thanks in advance for listening 🙂