(Closed) Rudeness Surrounding Engagement Announcement

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Try to focus on this: Happy couples are not as vocal about their experiences as unhappy ones. Everyones expects to be happy so when that happens you’re not exactly surprised, but when things turn out wrong it stays with some people and sadly those people like to rain on other’s parade. Don’t tell me those rude things were advises, they weren’t warning, those are bitter statements.

The only thing to do is to let it go, and PROVE THEM WRONG =D

Post # 4
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Misery loves company, that’s all I can say. Just keep ignoring them.

Post # 5
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We haven’t dealt with this, but I agree with the PPs – unhappy people might tend to talk about it more whereas happy people don’t have as much to complain about!  The best “revenge” (I know you’re not actually looking for revenge) is living well. 🙂

Post # 6
Member
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Learn to brush it off each otherse shoulders, laugh it off and know you’ll do better for one another. Maybe make a pact that everytime someone says something negative about marriage, you two kiss! HAHA Wouldnt that blow some minds, or say something like “Well that sucks for you guys!”.

Post # 7
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

We got a lot of are sure you want to do that kinda thing. A lot of my friends are diorced and all tell me how hard it is. My married friends all tell me how if and when thier husbands die they would never get married again. All joyus things like that. I blow them off. I am an older bride and I waited a long time I am pretty sure I got it right and not worried about it. lol Kinda when you tell people you are pregnant women want to tell you all the horror stories. I am very happy for you two and I am sure you will be extremely happy! 

Post # 8
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Some people just have miserable lives and don’t want to see anyone else’s happiness. Take what they have to say with a grain of salt. At my workplace there are a bunch of women who are constantly complaining about their husbands and seem suprised that I don’t hate my husband like they hate theirs. It’s like they can’t believe that someone could have a happy marriage. 

Personally I think that marriage is wonderful and it just comes down to what you make of it!  Congrats on your engagement! 

Post # 9
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Nobody gave us rude comments. But nobody from his immediate family, except one sister, congratulated us on our engagement or even asks us about the wedding. He’s the youngest of 13! His mom waited 6 weeks before saying anything about the wedding, and it was to ask if she was going to be making the cake. Of course, she had to ask me instead of her son, and I had to be the one to tell her no. She nearly immediately called his voicemail saying how offended she is that she won’t be making the cake, and on and on and on…. Um, yeah. She may have made them professionally once upon a time, but she hasn’t made a decent cake that wasn’t dry the entire time he and I have been together… and there’s been a lot of cakes!  I just ignored it, except to say now it’s a matter of principle since she threw a tantrum before I officially told her no.

People suck. Sucky people are unhappy. Unhappy people see a parade and head on over with their downpour. Bring an umbrella and galoshes. Dance in the puddles.

Post # 10
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

You guys need to brace yourselves to hear horrible things like this from people who are unhappy and bitter with their own marriages/ex-marriages.  That’s the only excuse for it.  People who are happy and who believe in good marriages will not say things like that.  It really is annoying and you just wanna slap people sometimes, but I’ve learned to block them out while they’re talking. 

Post # 11
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

hahaha..seriously. I think everyone gets the weird comments. I think I heard alot of the same kinds. I think people generally want to prepare you for the challenges of marriage. Alot of people go into marriage thinking it’s goin to be great and they bolt at the first sign of trouble…so..I think people have lost faith in it. You sound like a smart cookie and I’m sure you know it’s not going to be easy and people are right when they say the first years of marriage are the hardest….but you guys are in it for the long haul. Just ignore people.

Post # 12
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

People say the wierdiest most offensive things when it comes to weddings. Many people have been burned or rushed into things, and consequently crushed when marriage doesn’t turn out like a sweet Disney Movie.

Stay strong and let it roll of your back 😉 

Post # 13
Member
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’ve never even heard of the first year blues…and I don’t anticipate feeling them!  just ignore htem, people just don’t want to be the only one who experience hardships, so they like to think everyone has the same problems.

Post # 14
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I heard some comments like that from divorced people, and replied with a crisp “not all marriages are like that”. I also know a guy who regularly (3 or 4 times a week) asks me if I have cold feet yet. I finally told him that the joke had gotten really old.

Not everyone has been a jerk though. There was a guy who told me how hard marriage could get, and gave me a timeline of the toughest points. He was gentle and genuine and kind about it, not sarcastic or cynical. I was actually grateful for what he said, because no one else had actually
been “real” with me abt the whole marriage thing.

Sent from my Android

Post # 15
Member
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Personally, I would just ignore it. Let them try to rain on your parade, your happiness and good news is not a time for them to turn the conversation onto them. If they have ‘newlywed blues’, etc. they should deal with it appropriately, not by tarnishing your happy announcement.

Post # 16
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I got those comments all the time when I was engaged.  It didn’t help that I worked at a bar and had every other customer who saw my ring try to talk me out of it (both women and men).  Ugh.  I finally stopped wearing my engagement ring and just wore an everyday ring on that finger.  Some people asked if that meant I was engaged and then would go off on their opinion of marriage, but it did help a lot.  It sucks that I even had to resort to that, but it had gotten so bad and I didn’t want to have to keep defending my decisions.  People seriously suck.  Everyone’s marriage is not going to necessarily turn out like their bad experience.  Our first year brought a lot of changes, but all and all it was great.  Thankfully now that I have a wedding band, they leave me alone more or less.  I get the occasional comment about ‘how I’m so young’ and ‘I can’t believe you’re married!’ (I’m 28, so no, not that young to be married…), but I guess they know they can’t talk me out of it anymore…  

My advice is just do what you already did, just change the subject or ignore it.  Oh, and have a short engagement.  😉

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